Archive for the 'Facebook' Category
PARENTS BUDDHI HELIDARE KELABAARDAMMA (spoof)
(on the lines of Buddhimaatu Helidare Kelabekamma)
Composed & Sung by Ramakrishna Bellur Shivaram
Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma
Shuddhalaagi FB Hidkond Koorabekamma
Social Mediaganji Neenu Nadeyabekamma
FB-liror Akkareyannu Padeyabekamma
Hottuhottige Tweetgalanu Maadabekamma
Hattu Mandi Oppuva Haage Bareyabekamma… Bareyabekamma
(Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma…)
Comment Maaduva Nentarodane Dvesha Bedamma Magale
FB Maaduva Kaaladalli TV Bedamma
Serial Bagilalli Bandu Nillabedamma
Adige Maadada Gandanodane Sittu Bedamma
(Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma…)
TV-Mundhe Irorige Neenu Nyaaya Helabedamma
Phone-Alli Iddaga Online Kelasa Maadabedamma
FB Nindipa Hengalodane Serabedamma
Bellur RK Rachisiro Geethegalannu Mareyabedamma
(Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma…)
ಮೂರನೇ ಕ್ಲಾಸಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತ ಸುರೇಶ್ ಮಣಿ ನನಗೆ ಹೇಳಿಕೊಟ್ಟ ಪಾಠ ಇನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ.
ಮಣಿ: ಕೋಳಿ ಕೂಗಿತು.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಕೋಳಿ?
ಮಣಿ: ಬಾತು ಕೋಳಿ.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಬಾತು?
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಕೇಸರಿ?
ಮಣಿ: ತಿನ್ನೊ ಕೇಸರಿ.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ತಿನ್ನು?
ಮಣಿ: ಏಟು ತಿನ್ನು.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಏಟು?
ಮಣಿ: ಗಾಂಧಿ ಏಟು.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಗಾಂಧಿ?
ಮಣಿ: ಮಹಾತ್ಮ ಗಾಂಧಿ.
ದಿನಕ್ಕೆ ಹತ್ತು ಸಲ ಈ ಆಟ. ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲೂ ನಾನೇ ಏಟು ತಿನ್ನಬೇಕು ಅಂತ ಅವನಾಸೆ. ದಿವಸ, ಮನೇಗೆ ಬರಕ್ಕೆ ಮುಂಚೆ, ಶಾಲೆಯ ಗೇಟ್ ಬಳಿ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತು ಏಟು ಹೋಡೆದು (ಒಂದೆರಡು ಕೊಸರು ಕೊಟ್ಟಿ) ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದೇ ಒಂದಾಟ!
Mom to son:
L.A.-ge hogi L-A- meerbeda.
Mom to daughter:
Erode-ge hogi ee road mareebeda.
don’t know about bengaluru-mysore corridor,
or mumbai-bengaluru corridor
but ನಮ್ ರೋಡಲ್ಲಿ ಇರೋರೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾರಿಡಾರೇ!
This morning, for a short stretch, to my left was an AUTO and to my right was an ALTO.
Remember those olden day taps with a long white cloth tied to it?
You’ve seen the I-PAD. Remember the WE-PAD (Wooden Examination Pad)?!
It’s that time of the year, when exam pads make a quick entry into every student’s life. During my school days, we would inherit the exam pads from our elders. Hence the wooden pad would have been used by our uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers and finally reach us.
The dark brown pad (with rounded edges) would have a smooth surface on the front and a rough textured surface at the back. The front would have a ‘SRI’, ‘OM’, names of some of the previous owners written in various styles, in blue or green ink. Black or Red ink was considered inauspicious! I had written “Da- 2 small vertical lines- Raj” in a self designed stylish 3D font in Kannada when I got the pad sometime in 3rd standard. Before that, I don’t remember using one. I had used blue sketch pen to write this.
I somehow hated to use the pad just for what it was meant for. Hence, as soon as the exams got over, I would use the pad as a cricket bat, a frisbee, a sword, a fan, a TT bat…. and thus the dark brown pad would have some broken edges by late April. I would also test my endurance levels by putting my fingers under the clip… 3 seconds and the fingers would be removed! The pad would have one small needle like thing near the clip. And this would scratch atleast one of my fingers during every exam. During 6th standard, I remember pasting a poster of Rajkumar at the back of the pad.
It was a huge inspiration for me!
My son’s plastic Ben-10 pad brought back these memories this morning.
Plastic pencil box always looked weak. And that too if it had a single opening. A magnetic pencil box was a fantasy. I was unable to come to terms with myself for a week when my first brother-in-law gifted me one when I was in 2nd standard. It had totally 5 openings – 2 each on both sides and one in the middle, that made the box look like a small diary book. My friends here were in awe with that box.
Friends in “far off” Cochin school also got to see my magnetic box. I remember boys asking in Malayalam: Idu evadannakitti?!
When I graduated from that to the powerful Geometry box, the main attraction were the Compass, Divider, Set square, blotting paper, and of course, if you managed to have a Hero Pen, then you looked a true HERO!
And then came the Ink sharing programme!
The only place
which has offered
a ‘level’ playing field
for a Shastri, Poojara
is ‘Test’ Cricket!
In some old hotels, even today, Bournvita, Horlicks and Badam Powder bottles are not inside the kitchen. They’re kept next to the Cashier.
Book Cricket, and other types of Cricket I played!
During 4th and 5th standard, ‘book cricket’ entered our lives. I remember playing it quite intensely with my pal Hanuman in 5th standard. As I contracted Jaundice during that time, I was not allowed to go out and play (missed school for quite some days). I used to play book cricket alone after writing down the names of the players (one team was always India, the other varied Eng, WI, Aus etc..) on two pages (it resembled almost a complete scorecard).
The runs were scored by flipping the book open at random and the last digit of the right-side (even-numbered) page was counted as the number of runs scored. 0 (and sometimes 8) were assigned to special rules, typically a wicket was lost when a person scored 0 and scoring 8 would be substituted for a No ball run and an additional chance. To give an example, if the batting side opened the book at page 26, then 6 runs would be scored. For the toss, what was generally done was that both the players open a page and the one whose last digit is greater wins.
Other types of Cricket that I played: Hand cricket and leg cricket! (self explanatory)
And one of my neighbourhood friends, Umesh, had this indoor Cricket board game, where wickets were placed on a green circular piece of clothing, toy fielders were positioned, boundary ropes were kept and the batsman (i.e. you) had a tiny bat to hit the ball which were, shiny ball bearings, that would be dropped from about 5cms height by another player. If the ball went into the small opening near the feet (V-shaped) of the fielder, it was out. If the ball bearing touched the ropes, it was a boundary.
“There was a bit of pressure on me. I just got married, and my wife was worried I should perform. We knew that the new ball would do a bit.”
- Double Centurion Cheteshwar Pujara while receiving the MOM award today.
“India deserve a lot of credit.” – Michael Clarke
(Most Indians nowadays are living only on Credit!)
ಒಂದ್ ಕಾರ್ ಇನ್ನೊಂದ್ ಕಾರ್-ಗೆ ಡಿಕ್ಕಿ ಹೊಡೀತು. ಬಂಪರ್ ಜಖಂ.
ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ೧: ಬಂಪರ್ ಹಾಕಿಸ್ಕೋಡಿ.
ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ೨: ಬಂಪರ್ ಪ್ರೈಜ್ ಎಷ್ಟು?
ರಿಕ್ಷಾ ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ಗಳಿಗೆ ಶ್ಂಕರ್ ನಾಗ್ ಬಿಟ್ರೆ, ‘ಸಂಜೆ ವಾಣಿ’ನೇ next favourite!
Wherever I see LAKME , I invariably read it as LAKUMI.
‘Yorkshire Weather’ since morning in Bengaluru. Perfect for Cricket, Frisbee and a long leisurely walk in the market.
The strong yet subtle smell that surrounds you in a petty shop – a unique mix of Banana (Pach Baale), Fresh Newspapers rolled between glass bottlles, Magazines hung on thin wires, Cigarette smoke, Chikki, Chewing Gum, Modern Bread, Notebook…. cannot be recreated/ replicated anywhere!
ಪೆಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಜೈ!
Just like a Principal peeping into a class and walking away, the sun peeped once in Bengaluru disappeared.
After years of wear and tear, the Geometry box lid would start moving horizontally, a la Chiranjeevi while dancing! Once the Geometry box lid started acting loose, we would put a piece of paper and close it so that it sat tightly!
Blue & White Hawaii slipper and a ‘safety pin’! Made for each other (no more)!
I played with a short and fat scooter tyre and also a slim and trim cycle tyre… with which tyre did you play?
Ajji calls her grandson, who is listening to his i-pod, and asks him to buy get her a new Panchanga. The boy goes to a shop near 8th cross.
Boy: Uncle, Ondh Panchanga kodi.
Shopkeeper: Ontikoppal kodla?
Boy: Bisi idre kodi.
(Boy thought the shopkeeper was offering him tea in a cup).
MET Dept. is getting a clearer picture on the Weather in different places through FB posts than the INSAT-1B* picture!
*FB posts are also a kind of IN-SAT…coz we sit inside and write!
ಬಾಗಿಲಿಗೆ ಹಾಕಿರೋ ಬೀಗ ಸ್ಟಕ್ ಆದಾಗ ಗಂಡ ಓಪನ್ ಮಾಡಕ್ಕ್ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಪಡೋದು ನೋಡಿ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಸಲಹೆ ಕೊಡ್ತಾಳೆ:
ಎಣ್ಣೆ ಹಾಕ್ ಬಿಟ್ಟ್ ಟ್ರಯ್ ಮಾಡಿ!
While in school, doubts would crop up on a Sunday evening, a day before the exams! Some of us would study late into the night. Seeing this rare occurrence, one or the other member in the house would invariably utter this phrase: YUDDHAKAALE SHASTRAABHYAASA!
On the last day of the exam, we would frantically run behind our seniors, asking, begging them to sell their textbooks to us, for half rate. The condition of the textbook would decide the final rate. Dirtier the book, lower the price.
By 9th and 10th std., even the GUIDES would be in demand! Remember MBD Guides (Malhotra Book Depot)!
ಗುಂಡಾಯನಮಃ. ಗುಂಡೋಪಂತ್. ಉಂಡಾಡಿಗುಂಡ. ಗುಂಡಪ್ಪ. ಗುಂಡನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಜೋಕ್ಸು. ಗುಂಡನ ಇಟ್ಕೊಂಡು ಗಾದೆ (ಎಲೆ ಎತ್ತೋ ಗುಂಡ ಅಂದರೆ…)
ವೀ ಲವ್ ಗುಂಡ!
ಅಡ್ಡ ರಸ್ತೇಲಿರೋದು ತಪ್ಪಲ್ಲ. ಅಡ್ಡ ದಾರೀಲಿರೋದು ತಪ್ಪು.
There were some oft used words/ phrases while we played cricket:
• Pinda ball – The ball that rolls instead of rising off the pitch towards the bat
• 1D, 2D…some amongst us used to say DIKK… – Short for declared! It actually meant that there was no need to run when the ball went towards some mori or if it hit some garage shutter.
• Joker – Can play on both sides
• Current illa – This had nothing to do with Electricity. This meant that the guy bowling needed to touch the ball to the brick (i.e. the wicket) when the fielder threw [he couldn’t have a leg on the brick and be a lazy ‘um.
• Batting side fielding illa – When there were excess people playing in a small place. This happened during holidays when friend’s cousins joined us.
• Leg side runs illa – As opposed to the previous point, this happened when there was a shortage of guys in the team. i.e. when most friends went to their cousin’s houses for holidays.
• One Pitch Out – This was considered low class. Not challenging enough. Instead of a full toss catch, even a single pitch catch was considered out. Rule ok for 1st or 2nd std kids.
• Ajji mane Out / Compound olage full toss out – There were some elderly folks who were anti-children. If the ball went to the compounds of these houses, we could as well forget the ball. They would not give it back. Hence, this rule.
• Full toss on the ‘Atta’ Six – On the other hand, there were child-friendly houses who would give back the ball with a smile and also some chakkuli, kodubale…even if the ball went into the kitchen! For such houses, if the ball went on the Atta, it meant a SIX!
• Full toss on the Garage – Sometimes OUT, sometimes six…. depended on the whims and fancy of the guy owning the bat/ the Garage!
• Khamba ‘Four’ – This was one of the boundary points. If the ball crossed the far off KEB pole, it meant a 4.
• Khali ‘site’ out – ‘coz it was full of parthenium…and we were afraid there were some busss paamb!
I am sure I’ve left out quite a few… will be great if you can add.
Ajji tells to her newly married granddaughter: So many News channels. Most of the time we hear bad news. No ‘Good News’ anywhere.
SC to Karnataka: Release 2.44 TMC water to TN
TMC andre Tambige Madike Chombu?!
Behind most successful love stories, there is a PAATI!
madhye madhye, POPE-dosha prayashchittartham, naamtraya japankarishye… :p
Rightly chosen! Shikar is The One!
Life goes on in spite of Bharath Bandh.
But life WILL be paralysed if there is a Facebook Bandh.
ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ೧: ಯಾಕೋ ಮಾಲ್ ಒಳಗೆ ಸಲೀಸಾಗಿ ಹೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗ್ತಿಲ್ಲ ಇವತ್ತು.
ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ೨: ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಪರ್ದೆ ಹಾಕಿದಾರೆ…ಹುಷಾರು!
just realised the meaning of an old kannada song today:
meaning : is it a bandh, kindarijogi?
song: bandh-aa bandh-aa bandh-aa bandh-aa kindarijogi
How much ever you play today, the score will read: LOVE ALL! (on val. day)
The 30-mins IQL, hosted by Gaurav Kapoor, is refreshing.
PS: If at all IQL is held in the rural areas of Karnataka, we can call it “halli I-QLu”.
ಈ ಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಒಸ ಪ್ರಯಾಗ ಮಾಡಿದೀವಿ.
[ಚಿತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ಪ್ರಯಾಗದ ಸೆಟ್ ಹಾಕಿದ ಕಲಾ ನಿರ್ದೇಶಕ ಹೀಗೆ ಹೇಳಬಹುದು!]
‘Kai Po Che’ had lots of Tamilians on the first day of its release. They thought it was a film about someone losing a hand.
‘Myna’ sequel-ge title suggestion: Yours-aa?
ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಕಿಟಕಿಯಿಂದ ಕಾವೇರಿ ಹರಿಯೋದು ಸಲೀಸಾಗಿ ನೋಡಬಹುದು. She is tearing paper.
We all know Vidya Balan can do a pretty good job as MS. I am curious to see who will play the equally important roles of Sadasivam and GNB!
ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆ ತಾತ ಫೋನಲ್ಲಿ: ಮನೇಲಿ ಶಾಂತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಶಾಂತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಮನೇಲಿ. ಹೂಂ… ನಿಜವಾಗ್ಲೂ ಮನೇಲಿ ಶಾಂತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ.
[ವಿ.ಸೂ. ಶಾಂತಿ ಅವರ ಪತ್ನಿ.]
Ajji was thrilled to know that the GOD PARTICLE has been found.
She asked her grandson: Saaligraama-nu sigtanteno?
I was chatting with an elderly person in my locality. While leaving, I asked him if he saw ‘Life of Pi’. He in turn asked his wife in chaste Konkani: “Is it about Ananth Pai?”
We usually say: Radha-gidha, Manju-ginju, Ramesha-gimesha, Asha-gisha…. but for names like Geetha, Gireesha, Girija, Giri… it feels odd to say the same word twice, alwa!?
(say the below lines really fast and aloud)
what’s the key to the wrong one?
whatz the key 2the wrong ‘un?
the last one really zips fast across!
Every year during May-June, school textbooks are the bestsellers – ‘fiction’ category.
“ಗೇಟಿನ ಮುಂದೆ ವಾಹನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಬೇಡಿ” ಅಂತ ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ನೇತು ಹಾಕಿ, ಆ ಮನೆ ಓನರ್ಗಳೆ ಗೇಟಿನ ಮುಂದೆ ವಾಹನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸ್ತಾರೆ! ಎಂಥಾ ಲೋಕವಯ್ಯ!
ನಮ್ ರೋಡ್ ಗುಡಿಸೋ ಲಲಿತಮ್ಮ ಪರಕೆ ಹಿಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಓಡಾಡೋ ವೈಖರಿ ಸೇಮ್ ಬ್ಯಾಟ್ಸ್ ಮನ್ ಶತಕ ಬಾರಿಸಿ ಬ್ಯಾಟ್ ಎತ್ತುವುದನ್ನು ಹೋಲುತ್ತದೆ!
In Kannada naad, if it is NAMMA Metro
will it be AMMA Metro in the neighbouring naad?
ಹದಿನೆಂಟು-ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತರಲ್ಲಿ ’ಸೈಟ್’ ಹೊಡೀತೀವಿ
ಮೂವತ್ತು-ನಲವತ್ತರ ’ಸೈಟ್’ ಮಾಡ್ತೀವಿ
ಆರಡಿ ಮೂರಡಿ ಸೈಟಲ್ಲಿ ಸೆಟ್ಲಾಗ್ತೀವಿ.
One thing that every generation of cricket playing kids here have inherited is saying ‘REALS’ after 3-4 TRIALS!
Time, Tide…(& Two-wheeler riders in Bangalore) wait for none. :(
My friend Radhika Ganganna wanted to know the significance of number 20 in Hinduism.
I came up with this “Thamashe” list.
20 is an oft used number in daily life here. For eg:
1. ippatth sarthi helidru adhey tappu maadthiya.
2. ippathnaalk ghanteli ippath ghante facebookke aaghoythu
3. ippath sarthi imposition baree
4. meter mel ippath rupaaye aagatte!
5. ondhu ippatth jananne kardiddu functionge…mane mattige!
6. mola IPPATTH-rupaayaa?
7. yenramma, ippath rupayi kammi ide? (Old lady bargaining with the fruits vendor at 8th cross Malleswaram)
8. patient: eegondu 15-20 divasadinda kaal novvu!
doctor: ee medicine togolli. ippath divasa bitkondu banni…nodona!
9. nange ippath varsha aagiddaga, kallu thindu jeernaskothidde. (thatha to mommaga)
10. adhenu aa cartoon film-na ippath sarthi nodtiyo….hog odhuko!
11. in school, 20 is very significant…. exam-alli marks ippatthakko, 25-kko?
12. madhyanha nange ondh ippath nimsha nidde maadidrene samadhana (atte to sose)
13. …chennagi kalsaadamele, ippath nimsha bitt bidi (aduge prog.)
14. (peon scratching the back of his head) yen saar, khushige, yeno coffee-gifffee-ge ippath rupaayi ilwa?
15. test match gellake 20 wicket togondraaythu!
16. police to kalla: bitta andre, ippatth hallu udrogbidbeku!
17. son to grandfather: thatha, mba-li pareto principle antha ondh ide. adara prakara, roughly 80% effect-gella 20 percent-e kaarana. idanna 80-20 rule anthanu kareethare.
18. radhika calls veena: hi veena, what are you doing?
veena: hale hindi film nodthidhini…thumba touching aagide.
radhika: yen hesaru?
veena: bees saal baad!
19. power cut….appa to maga – ippatth-ravaregu maggi helo!
20. ippatth divasa beke beku process maadakke.
ishtu bareyakke ippatthu nimisha beka?
I feel Telugu speaking people think twice nowadays before saying TOMORROW in their language!
i can tell you by experience, sisters are more concerned about their siblings. That’s the reason, they call even a company a SISTER CONCERN…not BROTHER CONCERN!
A: Hi Buddy !
B: Hi Maga !
C: A+B !
Had a refreshing dream early in the morning. I saw VENKATAPATHY RAJU coming in as an OPENING BATSMAN! And he was in WHITES!
For some of us, yelli OC sikkidru OK. For Pak soldiers, LOC sikkidre OK!
Ajji: BEER aaytha?
Aunty: Innu swalpa ide!
ನಾವು ರೇಶನ್ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಅಲೆದಲೆದು ಬೆಳೆದವು ಅಂದು
ಕೇಳುವರು ಈಗಿನವರು “ರೇಶನ್ ಅಂಗಡಿ ಅಂದರೆ” ಏನೆಂದು
ಇದನ್ನ ಜನರೆಲ್ಲರೂ ಕರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ಜನ-ರೇಶನ್ ಗ್ಯಾಪ್ ಎಂದು!
HELL IS UNDER RENOVATION.
Because humans have got used to the tortures given in Hell.
Just like mosquitoes have got used to Odomos & Good Knight.
Hell is getting new and improved torturing devices.
Until then, all those supposed to enter Hell are being reborn as Mobile phones.
PS: This is a stop-gap arrangement.
When I hear an ambulance speeding on the road with the siren sound, I feel it is the patient inside shouting: now-novvu-now-novvu-now-novvu. Sometimes, the Yamakinkaras are trying to take the patient away. That is when the ambulance siren sound resembles a loud NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!