Archive for the 'Mothers day' Category

Happy Mother’s Day

May 11, 2014

rwbmothersday-2014

 

Posts related to Mother’s Day on RwB

You can smell the Johnson’s Baby ad today in TOI

January 29, 2014

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Many homes today is filled with the aroma of Johnson’s baby powder since morning! You can smell the half page ad (TOI, Bangalore edition) which has the following copy:

Remember this smell? The smell of your little one when she was a little one. The smell of he oh-so-soft skin. The smell of innocence. The smell of sloppy wet kisses, cuddles, and long gazes. The smell that made you fall in love. The smell that made you a mother. The smell of every baby. The smell of Johnson’s baby.

Because only a smell so gentle can bring back memories that powerful.

Johnson’s baby. Power of gentle.

Related post:

Bru’s smelling ad in Sunday Times. Did you smell the paper yesterday?

I still remember

June 19, 2012

How much she cared for me
How much she loved me
How much she encouraged me
How much she teased me
I still remember.

The way she combed my hair
The way she applied powder to my face
The way she cooked my favourite dish
The way she held my hand while crossing the road
I still remember.

How much she took me everywhere
How much she sent me everywhere
How much she made me sing
How much she sang with me
I still remember.

The days we both went out to eat
The days we both sat in the balcony
The days we travelled in an autorickshaw
The days we both cried together
I still remember.

The way she prayed everyday
The way she popped pills everyday
The way she suffered silently everyday
The way she faced life boldly everyday
I still remember.

The excitement she showed when she saw an uninvited guest
The contentment she showed when she served others
The satisfaction she experienced after visiting a temple
The happiness she showed when someone remembered my father
I still remember.

The tears in her eyes
The smile on her face
The right palm covering her lips shyly
The soft voice
I still remember.

The generosity
The humility
The shyness
The broad-mindedness
I still remember.

The pain she underwent during the last three days of her life
The suffering she underwent during the last three days of her life
The agony she underwent during the last three days of her life
The loneliness she underwent during the last three days of her life
I still remember.
I still remember.
I still remember.

***

A post dedicated to my father

Blog Cartoon – 23

September 13, 2007

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Cartoon: RK

Wish you all a very Happy Gowri-Ganesha festival (September 14 and 15).

Also visit the Cartoon page on RwB.

Parenting

August 17, 2007

by Latha Vidyaranya

Congrats, RK, for that lovely article on the pleasures of fathering a young kid! It is very rare in these days of hectic work schedules that I hear a parent speaking in such exultation about the little achievements of the kid or the happy quiet moments of togetherness with the kid! Narayan is truly blessed!

I agree that parenting is the toughest job on earth. It seldom gets its due share of acknowledgement, and generally goes unsung. It is the most difficult job, where you get hands-on training on the spot, on the real platform always! No prior rehearsals are possible and no ‘undo’ or ‘delete’ options are available if the errors are committed. Though there are thousands of parenting manuals available in the market, all suggestions given are at the most guidelines only and not the absolute truths. That is because no two kids or two parents or two families are similar. Each one is unique with their own amusing characteristics that one man’s Visha (poison) can become another’s Amrutha (nectar) in this matter.

And don’t we all agree that we start realizing and appreciating our parents’ efforts only when we become a parent ourselves!?

And how soon the birds are ready to fly out of the nest! And then starts our lamentation of how I could have spent that time with my kid and how I should not have done this or that and how I could be a totally different parent if only I am given one more chance now to parent my little kid all over again! 

So all you young parents, come on, slow down with your other “more important businesses of life”, grab this chance of spending good time with your kids helping him or her to evolve into a beautiful human being tomorrow. Be there for him or her when he or she needs you the most. If not physically possible, at least be there ALWAYS with your kid EMOTIONALLY. Say it in words how much you love him/her, say that you always trust and respect his/her views, you are always there for them both in their achievements and more importantly in their failures too! 

I am reminded of a child’s words to its parents:

“Papa and Mama, Love me most when I deserve it the least for it is then that I need it most”.

(Latha Vidyaranya is a Special Educator and Counsellor and has founded ‘Empower Counselling Centre’ in Malleswaram, Bangalore.)

Celebrating Differences in Life

June 18, 2007

by Latha Vidyaranya

While reading an old post here, the very title A son need not be like his father made me wonder why we are all so bent upon finding the parent in the child always. Why do we expect the son to be like father and the daughter to be like mother?! Why do we not allow the son to be the son himself and daughter to be the daughter herself?? At one point we all say ‘variety is the spice of life’ and at other times we do not want to see variety but expect everybody to conform to certain ‘standards’ that society has defined. Anybody not conforming to these standards are shunned and not accepted easily. Instead, if we find variations why not we celebrate the differences?

Perhaps this is due to the fact that we all desire immortality in some way or the other. If a doctor’s son/daughter becomes a doctor, the father feels a pride in perpetuating his profession through his son/daughter thus preserving himself through his profession to posterity, amounting to a degree of immortality. He is going to outlive himself through his child! Same may be the reason why people hanker after constructing houses or hoarding jewellery. When their children live in those houses after them, they would still continue to live through those houses or when the daughter wears a mother’s jewellery, mother’s memories are kept intact thus immortalizing the person!

When this is the state we are in, we can imagine how difficult it is to de-identify oneself from this body-mind-intellect complex – as directed in our spiritual texts, Ashtavakra being one of them. When people are scared of retiring from a job because of losing so many of their identities in the form of power, designation, their earnings, their name and fame, can ordinary mortal be expected to drop his/her identity from body, from mind and from their highly placed intellect?! It requires guts to pursue the path of spirituality. That’s why it is said in our Upanishads – “cowards can not attain aatma” or “naayamaatmaa balahiinena labhyah”.

The line Adi Sankara in his ‘Viveka Choodamani’ says that “the body should be shunned as one would a disgusting object”, reminded me of a funny observation that I had made recently. In Malleshwaram, there is a Sringeri Shankaramutt where we were taught the tenets of advaita philosophy that constantly used to remind us, “you are not your body” and so on. And as we finished our classes and used to come out of the compound, we used to encounter a jarring display board of a body fitness and beautifying clinic right opposite the mutt that used to entice people by telling them “you are your body. Beautify it”! What a paradox!

The sentence, “There is only a thin dividing line between the attitude of escapism and acceptance” made me wonder how so many of us take the easy route of saying that something is “my karma and hence I have to bear it”, instead of putting sincere effort to alleviate the difficult situation! Whenever we feel lazy to put in the “purusha prayatna”, we simply attribute the negative result to our fate and keep quiet! And there is always a big debate going on about the supremacy of “Fate versus Free Will”. Here once again I am reminded of the words full of wisdom from our Poojya Swamiji Sri Sri Chandrashekhara Bharathi, the 34th Pontiff of Sringeri Shankaramutt, Sringeri. He once said that Fate is nothing but the outcome of the free will that we ourselves had once exercised earlier. Hence to overcome the Fate, we just have to exercise our free will once again now with an intensified force. He gives a beautiful analogy of our trying to pull out a hard hit nail from the wall. When the nail does not come out inspite of our trying repeatedly, we just drop our effort saying that it is my fate and accept the failure. Instead of giving up our effort, if only I can remember that it was I who had driven the nail inside the wall with many a hard hits, then I will realize that it now requires from me much more intensified effort to pull the nail out of the wall. I am bound to succeed!

Similar to the words in Ashtavakra Geetha, in Viveka Choodamani also Sri Shankaracharya says “Mana Eeva Kaaranah Manushyaanaam Bandha Mokshayoh”. It is our mind which either makes us bound or makes us free. I have realized the truth of this sentence all the more now that I am in the profession of Psychological Counselling. Most of the problems that our clients come up with are self-created or self-contributed. But we seldom realize the truth of it, because we find it so easy to shift the blame on someone else for all our problems. Once we shift the blame, we falsely believe that we can shirk from the responsibility of setting the problem right! And as counsellors, it falls upon us to help them develop an insight into their problems thus helping them to discover a new perspective to the whole issue. And once acceptance dawns we find it so much easier to pave the way to resolve the issue.

Also read:
Happy Father’s Day

(Latha Vidyaranya is a Special Educator and Counsellor and has founded ‘Empower Counselling Centre’ in Malleswaram, Bangalore.)

Postpartum Depression

May 17, 2007

I received this comment from Mrs. Latha Vidyaranya in response to the post titled “Happy Mother’s Day“.

Since I know quite a few of my friends are on the family way, thought of sharing the comment as an independent post.

As a Psychological Counsellor, I would like to mention a psychological trauma that many new mothers find themselves in. It is called “Postpartum depression”. Let me explain.

A woman, as soon as she becomes pregnant, is flooded with congratulatory messages from all her near and dear ones. And everybody glorifies pregnancy and the motherhood that is to follow. The pregnant woman also starts taking pride in the fact that she is going to bring out a new life on to this earth and all her creative instincts would get fulfilled!

After nine months of looking forward to the bundle of joy, the D-day comes and the bundle of joy arrives on the scene to the celebration of one and all. But sometimes, the whole experience is so overwhelming, both emotionally and also physically, that some new mothers sometimes fall into a depression! It is the surging hormones and sometimes the imbalance of the chemicals in the brain (neurotransmitters) caused by the stressful situation (remember that any life changing event – positive or negative, can cause stress to humans) that lead a new mother into this kind of an unwelcome position. The stress increases all the more because she is unable to experience the euphoria that all new mothers are expected to feel! She does not feel like holding the child, she may refuse to breast feed the baby, she may even think of harming the self or the baby and the whole behaviour of the new mother becomes a big puzzle to the family members. They are at a loss to understand this…

Usually the gynecs who attend to the new mother and the pediatricians who check up the health of the new born are all aware of this psychological disturbance and they can very well handle such cases. She would require some anti depressants and most of all the understanding and support of her near and dear ones, specially the new father. He too requires utmost support as the whole event has turned into an anti climax! But the positive news is that she can come out of the depression very soon if suitable treatment in the form of medicine and counseling is given to her.

Sorry folks, if I have shocked all of you. But I thought this is a nice forum to bring in some awareness about certain psychological aspects as and when a connected article arises in the blog.

(Latha Vidyaranya is a Special Educator and Counsellor and has founded ‘Empower Counselling Centre’ in Malleswaram, Bangalore.)

Fathers also need to balance home and work

May 13, 2007

by Latha Vidyaranya

It is the second Sunday of May. It is Mothers’ day. In all newspapers, magazines and web sites, you see advertisements asking you to celebrate Mother’s day in your own special way, gifting your moms a nice dinner or a jewellery or whatever you can get her with love…
 
I happened to read a nice article and thought I would share some of the feelings expressed in the article, which any mother anywhere in the world would agree with.
 
Any successful woman who has reached some significant height in her work place/ entrepreneurship is asked the first question – How do you balance your work and your home? Mind you, nobody asks a successful man if he has spent some quality time with his kids – because no Indian male is ever expected to do it! But every working woman, even in this 21st century, is expected to be a perfect mom and also a perfect home maker. If she is not, then she has to bear this heavy cross upon her shoulder all her life experiencing guilt trips every moment she tries to relax or tries to further her career. Anything going wrong in the family, the society points a finger at her as if the fathers are in no way accountable.
 
On this Mother’s day, I would like to call upon all fathers, all going-to-be-fathers and all men to take an unspoken oath of equal parenting. Let all men pitch in equal time at home, at parenting and ease the burden she is carrying. Let them pave way for the lady of the house to come out in to the world of work and express her creativity and her individuality. Let her also develop an identity of her own that is not strung to the apron strings alone. Let man celebrate the arrival of woman and I am sure the lady will love him with all the gratitude and we would be sending out a subtle message to all our male kids to take pride and pleasure in equal parenting responsibilities.
 
Moms, dont you all think this would be the greatest gift the society can give to her on this Mother’s day!
 
Happy Mother’s Day! Thanks to all fathers in anticipation of their cooperation!

Also read: A son need not be like his father

(Latha Vidyaranya is a Special Educator and Counsellor and has founded ‘Empower Counselling Centre’ in Malleswaram, Bangalore.)

Happy Mother’s Day

May 12, 2007

by Srividhya CB

Deep down I hadn’t really believed I would be a mother one day. Of course, I dreamt of being a mother. When I got to know that there was a tiny bundle of cells that was going to change my life forever, I felt ecstatic! Expecting a baby was an amazingly exciting thought.

And when the baby was born after nine wonderful months, oh my goodness! I became very sentimental. The first few days with my son was very emotional time. Also, there was a total exhaustion as a result of labour and absolutely sleepless nights changing diapers et al.

I started working when my baby was barely 8 months old. My mother used to take care of the baby. But she started developing joints pain due to which managing the kid was becoming difficult. That was when I decided to leave my job.

Now, I have taken up motherhood as a full time job. It’s fun, its great spending time with the little one, god’s very special gift. Everyday he does something different and every moment I enjoy being with him. My daily routine revolves around him, feeding, playing, going for a walk and putting him to sleep. It’s only now that I appreciate my mother better than the past.

Childhood comes only once in a lifetime and every mother wants to give the best to her little one. Because only a mother can understand and nurture the baby better than anyone else.

A mother is somebody who is irreplaceable by anyone else. I feel proud of being a mother and wish a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ to all you mothers out there.

Let’s make our mothers happy by thanking her for all that she has done. As a Jewish proverb says, God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

Related link: On mothers’ day

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