Posts Tagged ‘Bangalore’

Bangalore losing its colours?

July 22, 2014

rwb-crimecity-220714

Also see:

Bangalore’s Nicknames

CRICKET LINGO – Our Days!

March 7, 2013

There were some oft used words/ phrases while we played cricket:
• Pinda ball – The ball that rolls instead of rising off the pitch towards the bat
• 1D, 2D…some amongst us used to say DIKK… – Short for declared! It actually meant that there was no need to run when the ball went towards some mori or if it hit some garage shutter.
• Joker – Can play on both sides
• Current illa – This had nothing to do with Electricity. This meant that the guy bowling needed to touch the ball to the brick (i.e. the wicket) when the fielder threw [he couldn’t have a leg on the brick and be a lazy ‘um.
• Batting side fielding illa – When there were excess people playing in a small place. This happened during holidays when friend’s cousins joined us.
• Leg side runs illa – As opposed to the previous point, this happened when there was a shortage of guys in the team. i.e. when most friends went to their cousin’s houses for holidays.
• One Pitch Out – This was considered low class. Not challenging enough. Instead of a full toss catch, even a single pitch catch was considered out. Rule ok for 1st or 2nd std kids.
• Ajji mane Out / Compound olage full toss out – There were some elderly folks who were anti-children. If the ball went to the compounds of these houses, we could as well forget the ball. They would not give it back. Hence, this rule.
• Full toss on the ‘Atta’ Six – On the other hand, there were child-friendly houses who would give back the ball with a smile and also some chakkuli, kodubale…even if the ball went into the kitchen! For such houses, if the ball went on the Atta, it meant a SIX!
• Full toss on the Garage – Sometimes OUT, sometimes six…. depended on the whims and fancy of the guy owning the bat/ the Garage!
• Khamba ‘Four’ – This was one of the boundary points. If the ball crossed the far off KEB pole, it meant a 4.
• Khali ‘site’ out – ‘coz it was full of parthenium…and we were afraid there were some busss paamb!

I am sure I’ve left out quite a few… will be great if you can add.

Generation Gap!

January 21, 2013

ನಾವು ರೇಶನ್ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಅಲೆದಲೆದು ಬೆಳೆದವು ಅಂದು
ಕೇಳುವರು ಈಗಿನವರು “ರೇಶನ್ ಅಂಗಡಿ ಅಂದರೆ” ಏನೆಂದು
ಇದನ್ನ ಜನರೆಲ್ಲರೂ ಕರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ಜನ-ರೇಶನ್ ಗ್ಯಾಪ್ ಎಂದು!

***

rkhampi210113

KANNIGE KAANUVA DEVARU PARODY by Ramakrishna Bellur Shivaram

October 30, 2012

ಗೀತೆ: ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಾಣುವ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ
ರಚನೆ: ರಾಮಕೃಷ್ಣ ಬೆಳ್ಳೂರ್ ಶಿವರಾಂ
ಮೂಲ ಗೀತೆ: ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಾಣುವ ದೇವರು ಎಂದರೆ ಅಮ್ಮನು ತಾನೆ (ಚಿತ್ರ:ಯಾರಿವನು)

ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಾಣುವ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಅಂದರೆ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್ ತಾನೆ
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…ನಮ್ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್
ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಾಣುವ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಅಂದರೆ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್ ತಾನೆ
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್ ತಾನೆ

ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲದಂತೆ ರೋಡಿಗೆ ಬಂದಿತು
ಡೇಂಗಿನ ಸಿರಿಯ ಊರೋರ್ಗೆ ತಂದಿತು(೨)
ಓಡಾಡೋರ್ಗ್ ಅಸೂಯೆ ತುಂಬಿ
ಗಬ್ಬು ನಾಥದ ಸ್ಮೆಲ್ಲು ನೀಡುತ(೨)
ಕಂಡ್ ಕಂಡಲ್ಲೆಲ್ಲಾನು ಹಾರಿ
ರೋಡೆಲ್ಲಾ ಕಸದ್ ಕವರ್ ಹರಡಿತು

ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಾಣುವ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಅಂದರೆ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್ ತಾನೆ
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…ನಮ್ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್

ರೋಡ್ ತಿಪ್ಪೆ ಸೊಳ್ಳೆಗೆ ಸ್ವರ್ಗದ ಹಾಗೆ
ತಿಪ್ಪೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ನಲಿಯೋದೆ ಕಾಗೆ (೨)
ಮಂಡೂರ್ ಗೆ ಕಸ ಸಾಕಾಗಿದೆಯಂತೆ
ಕಸದ್ ಡಬ್ಬದೊಳಗೆ ಕಸ ದಬ್ಬ್ ಹಾಕಿ (೨)
ಎಂದೆಂದು ಕಸದ ಕವರನ್ ಹೀಗೆ
ಸೆಗ್ರಿಗೇಟ್ ಮಾಡಿ ಕೊಡ್ತೀವಿ ಮೇಯರ್!

ಕಣ್ಣಿಗೆ ಕಾಣುವ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಅಂದರೆ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್ ತಾನೆ
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…
ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್…ನಮ್ ಗಾರ್ಬೇಜ್

***
gIte: kaNNige kaaNuva guDDe
racane: raamakRuShNa beLLUr shivaraaM
mUla gIte: kaNNige kaaNuva dEvaru eMdare ammanu taane (yaarivanu)

kaNNige kaaNuva guDDe aMdare gaarbEj taane
gaarbEj…gaarbEj…
gaarbEj…nam gaarbEj
kaNNige kaaNuva guDDe aMdare gaarbEj taane
gaarbEj taane

gottilladaMte rODige baMditu
DEMgina siriya UrOrge taMditu(2)
ODaaDOrg asUye tuMbi
gabbu naathada smellu nIDuta(2)
kaMD kaMDallellaanu haari
rODellaa kasad kavar haraDitu

kaNNige kaaNuva guDDe aMdare gaarbEj taane
gaarbEj…gaarbEj…
gaarbEj…nam gaarbEj

rOD tippe soLLege swargada haage
tippeya mEle naliyOde kaage (2)
maMDUr ge kasa saakaagideyaMte
kasad DabbadoLage kasa dabb haaki (2)
eMdeMdu kasada kavaran heege
segrigET maaDi koDtIvi mEyar!

kaNNige kaaNuva guDDe aMdare gaarbEj taane
gaarbEj…gaarbEj…
gaarbEj…nam gaarbEj

‘Waste Management’ in Bangalore

October 2, 2012


Cartoon: RK

Also visit the Cartoon page on RwB.

This ‘n’ that! – Sep.26, 2012

September 26, 2012

Q1. Which restaurant do the rowdies in Bangalore like to visit often?

***

Q2. A particular condom likes a particular locality in Bangalore. Name the condom and the locality.

***

Muktabalaga‘s Veena Shivanna ni Prashanth wants to know how some of the good writers (she has included yours truly in her list) are so humble. Although I am humble, I don’t think I am eligible to be in the list because my writing skills are not anything to be written about. Anyway,  coming to the point, I feel this proverb in Kannada is the answer to her question: TK* Tulkalla!

* Here TK refers to Tumbida Koda. If you don’t know what it usually refers to, then please undergo a crash course in Kannada Slangs!

[postscript: After I post this, I came across this headline now (on rediff) - Cats and writers are both completely off their heads: novelist Nilanjana Roy. What a coincidence!]

***

ಒತ್ತಿ ಒತ್ತಿ ಹೇಳಿದ್ರೂ, ಮಕ್ಕಳಿಗೆ ಒತ್ತಕ್ಷರದ ಬೆಲೆ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಲ್ಲ. ಉದಾ:

You might have read this sentence written on many walls in Bangalore:

ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಮಲ ಮೂತ್ರ ವಿಸರ್ಜನೆ ಮಾಡಬಾರದು.

Read this sentence by replacing ಲ (la) in the second word with a ಲ್ಯ (lya)!

***

Most philosophers and spiritual masters ask us to forego I, Me, Mine,….

Have you ever thought who taught us these?

The grammar teacher (any language)!

***

With the advent of hands free mobile phones, people who talk to themselves (known as ‘mad people’) have benefited to quite an extent. A decade ago, when you saw someone talking to himself or herself, you would immediately think he/she was mad. But today, you don’t do that. You re-check if the person is talking on a hands free mobile phone!

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Today’s headline: PM Manmohan Singh turns 80 (without even asking madam!).

***

These are some of the names in the Karnataka Ministry (as on 26.09.12). The name and portfolio matches so well. Read on:

SHRI C.M. UDASI
Public Works Department excluding Ports and Inland Water Transport Department
(Dept. infamous for udaaseena; also Udasi coz he is not yet the CM!)

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SHRI B.N. BACCHEGOWDA
Labour Department
(Child labour issues)

***

SHRI C.T. RAVI
Higher Education from Education Department
(Classalli CT hodidre bidalla)

***

SHRI KOTA SRINIVASA POOJARY
Muzarai from Revenue Department
(Poojari + Kota note issue)

***

SHRI APPACHU RANJAN
Youth Services and Sports Department
(Youthful and sporty name)

***

Ans.1: Woody’s (Udees)

Ans.2: KamaSutra (KS for short) and Kumaraswamy Layout (KS Layout for short)

Brass Band Sets – Slowly getting drummed out

September 20, 2012

Right from childhood, I have been seeing them at the forefront of any procession – marriage, temple utsava, ganesha habba, church ceremony, funeral. They are attired in colourful uniforms and sport shiny turbans. They march to the beat of drums, the sound of trumpets, and the blow of clarinets. There is a silent admiration from the audience who are the onlookers on the pavements and who sit inside shops. Some kids walk along with them dancing to the songs. The songs are according to the occasion.


Pics: Bellur RK / RwB

Last week, I met a troupe known as JAI MAHAVEER BAND SET. It is owned by S.Kanda. He introduces me to some of the members sitting inside the (approx.15×6 ft) shop. Hanumantha, Hulagappa, Thimmanna and Joseph play the Trumpet while Nataraj and Murthy play the drums.


Mr.S.Kanda, Owner

A big drum is hung outside the shop. Underneath it is a couple of flex banners showing one of the members blowing the trumpet. An ‘A’ stand is also kept on the pavement so that the shop is easily identifiable.

There is a table in the corner of the shop on which a few drums are kept. A few photos of the troupe members playing for a wedding is kept under the glass on the table.

Next to it there is a bench which can seat around 4-5 people. The light pink uniform shirts are hung above the table.

The trumpets are inside a small open shelf. There is also a Fevibond, a toy elephant and a set of lock and keys there. The shiny caps are kept on top of the shelf.

Pictures of Lord Ganesha in between Goddess Lakshmi and Saraswathi, and Mother Mary with infant Jesus find a place underneath the white tubelight on the left.


Mr.Joseph, Senior member

Kanda puts me on to Joseph, a senior member of the troupe. He says there are a total of 40 members. He has been working as a band player for the past 45 years. He began when he was just a teenager in New Bharath Band and New Jai Hind Band in Kalasipalya. The current band set was started 15 years ago, the shop is next to Vinayaka Theatre on Mysore Road.


Jai Mahaveer Band Set members

I request them to pose for a photo. They say wearing the dress takes a long time. I say them to just wear the cap and hold the instruments that they play. Each of them is really excited and stands for the picture.

Joseph says: Band sets became popular in India in the 20th century. In any rich and upper middle class marriage, we were compulsory. The wealth and prestige of the bride’s father was judged by how many players were in the band set.

We play for any occasion. Most common is marriage and funeral processions. We send a minimum of 4 members and a maximum of 35-40 members based on the requirement. Marawadis expect grandeur in their weddings, and we send more people. They also pay us well. For a Marawadi wedding, if 10 of us go, we charge around 10-12 thousand rupees. We play Kannada, Tamil, Telugu, Hindi, Gujarathi, Rajasthani, Punjabi, Church songs and devotional songs.

Members in our troupe are adept at playing Clarinets, Trumpets, Euphoniums, Alto Sax, Tavil, Bass Drum, Tap Dhol and Side Drums. We are asked by the organisers to play more of Rajkumar, MGR, Sivaji Ganesan, Rajini, Kamal, Amitabh, Rajesh Khanna, Dharmendra, NTR, Vijay and nowadays Puneeth, Surya and Dhanush’s numbers. We are happy to oblige.

Every member of the troupe is skilled in playing a specific musical instrument and the performance lasts for about two to three hours. When we are free, we periodically undergo rehearsal for improving upon our performance. We get paid on a daily wage basis for the programmes we perform. 400 rupees for a marriage, 250-300 rupees for temple festival, 200-220 for a funeral procession.


A still from Mutthanna

Some of our team members have played for Shivarajkumar’s ‘Mutthanna’ and Gadibidi Aliya’ and Ravichandran’s ‘Gadibidi Ganda’.

Just as he is talking to me, I see a couple of men come and ask Kanda to send a team on a Cycle band for a temple utsava. A team is sent immediately.

I ask Joseph about the charges. He says: For marriages and temple functions, if 4-5 of us go, we charge around 3000 rupees. If we send 35 members to a wedding, it is around 32 thousand rupees. If we have to play from morning till evening, it is approx. 15-20 thousand rupees. For a funeral procession, we charge very less.


Stills from Ninathathai Mudippavan & Sachaa Jhutha

I am curious to know which is his favourite song. He immediately picks up the trumpet and plays Ghantasaala’s “Yaarige Yaruntu” from ‘Gaali Gopura’ (Rajkumar – 1962). I pester him to play another one. He plays “Poomazhai Thoovi” from ‘Ninathathai Mudippavan’ (MGR -1975). This is a remake of 1970 blockbuster Hindi Film ‘Sachaa Jhutha’ starring Rajesh Khanna.

We have been using synths, drums and loudspeakers for a few years in order to overcome all other noises like honking cars and firecrackers.

We spread joy for all the festive occasions but in reality, we suffer in silence due to the waning patronage. Brass Band sets are an integral part of marriage processions in the north, while the patronage here in the south is waning. The bridegrooms of today’s generation are very shy and prefer not to have band sets. Ceremonies are less elaborate today. Also, inflation has made people cut down on many things. These have affected us badly.

On certain days, we do not have any revenue at all. The owners find it very difficult to run this business. Although the members of our party look like professional musicians, in reality, most of us are unorganised labourers such as coolies, painters, and carpenters.

I have been playing for the past 45-50 years. I don’t know any other job. I stay in the church behind our shop. I feel our band members are as good as the Police band set.

It is nearing 9pm on a Wednesday. I thank Joseph and take leave. As I ride back home, I realise how very difficult it is to eke out a living just by being a band player. The next time I see any Band-Baaja-Baaraat, I will search for Joseph and his boys among those playing the trumpet!

This ‘n’ that! – Sep.17, 2012

September 17, 2012

Q1. Two Tamilians and two Kannadigas are on a train. During the journey, all four get talking. When the train halts at some station, one Tamilian and Kannadiga get down to stretch themselves. After some time, the train starts slowly to move. At just that moment, the Tamilian and Kannadiga ask each other, “Nimdu yaav ooru?” Both of them say the name of the place. Not only do they say the name of the place, they also tell their friends to get into the train. Both of them say just one word.

Can you guess what they both told?

***

Q2. What is the difference between Devegowda and lord Ganesha?

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Q3. A Bihari was standing near JP nagar with his girlfriend. She asked him to take her to a movie. She immediately began scolding him for writing such horrible mails with no punctuation marks. He stopped an auto and told a word that the auto driver understood. The same word was also like asking the girl: You mean , ?

What did he tell?

***

Maternity ward: The department of a hospital that provides care for women during pregnancy and childbirth as well as for newborn infants.

Eternity ward: The department of a hospital that provides extensive intensive care for patients who suffer for a long time and who cannot be discharged.

***

We all know that Bangalore has many people from many parts of India. Maybe to remind each Kannadiga resident who has been here all his/ her life that this is still our city,  BBMP has written on many walls across the city: Nenapirali, Idu Nimma Nagara!

Sarcasm at its best!

***

I was travelling in a bus towards Dairy Circle yesterday. At Shantinagar (Double Road) bus stop, a couple of elderly men, dressed in Dharwad style, got in. One asked the other: Nimhans stop tilidaitenn? The other nodded which meant ‘Yes’.

But they both missed getting down at Nimhans and had to alight at Dairy Circle. The guy who had asked the question was blasting the other fellow: Hucchenle ninage? Stop gottu antha helde? Nee Hucch &@$% Maga yenle?

***

Eco friendly Ganesha = No Make-up

All other Ganeshas = With Make-up

***

En route KBS (Kempegowda Bus Stand), I saw a wall on which it was written: Illi Cheetigalannu Antisi (please stick bills here). An English teaching institute has pasted some bills on a portion of the writing very intelligently. At the end of the wall, I read “..dhisalaguvudu“.

(Illi cheetigalannu antisidavarige shikshe vidhisalaguvudu).

***

A1. The Kannadiga says: Baguru (also Baa Guru) while the Tamilian says Vijaywada (also Vijay Vaada).

A2. The Former calls himself ‘son of the soil’. The latter knows he is a son from the soil!

A3. Kamakya (also Comma kya?) The answer was in the last line. ;)

For many, it is just a walk in the park!

April 7, 2012

I was back home by 6 in the evening this Thursday. No sooner had I stepped in to my room, my wife suggested, “Why don’t we go to Sankey for a walk?” I was not too keen. She said, “I have been inside the house all day. Let’s go.” I said, “I’ve been out all day. Let’s sit in the balcony!” No response. I finally said, “OK let’s go. But no walking in Sankey Park…only sitting and chatting.” She agreed.

It’s not Sankey Park that I’m against (Not long ago, it was just Sankey Tank). It’s the roads leading to it. Horrible traffic on 17th cross and 18th cross roads, main roads included. But once inside, Sankey park is heaven, well almost!

Me and my wife love to walk. But our requirements are different. My wife loves to walk – as they walk inside any park. The serious types. She doesn’t like to walk in crowded areas.

But I can’t walk just for WALKING sake, least of all in a park. I can walk long distances (which I have done several times) – say from Malleswaram to Jayanagar or all around Majestic, looking at shops, hoardings, people fighting on roads, looking at the street dogs, crows sitting on the electric pole, the beggar, the cops hiding behind a tree to catch the erring drivers… you got my point right? I can walk when there are lots of distractions on my way. I suddenly stop near a Lassi or Gulkand store when I see one. Or stand staring at film posters for a few minutes. Some of you might not classify this as ‘walking’. For me, this is better than plain ‘walking’.

On the way to Sankey, I saw a teenager shouting at someone over the phone. I so much wanted to stand and listen to him, but my wife pulled me along.

Once inside Sankey, wife again asked me if I wanted to walk – like the hordes of people inside. I told I would rather sit on a bench and enjoy nature’s beauty, and observe people.

Now finding a vacant bench in Sankey park is as difficult as finding a sparrow in Bangalore. Fortunately, we found a lady getting up, and we sat immediately. Being summer, the bench was quite warm. The bench I found was just under the place where a portion of the title song of ‘Nodi Swamy Naavirodhu Heege’ was shot [between 0:51 to 0:57 seconds with the song duration being 4:28 minutes.]

Quite a few people looked serious walkers. They had no partners, and they were not looking left or right – just straight ahead. It is a pleasure to see some people walk or jog. They have that athletic gait, and look so elegant. They mean business.

Suddenly there comes three MRF ladies. All three are talking at the same time in Hindi. Looks like they are cursing someone.

There are several walkers who are constantly fiddling with the earphone or the mobile. Some elderly men are wearing formal wear that has faded so much that you cannot guess what colour it was originally, chanting and walking with their bodies bent in different angles.

Some young girls in bare minimal clothing are walking and jogging and also pulling the top near the waist as much down as possible. But that poor little top – how much can it come down, when it is stitched to cover only till the navel.

A couple are controlling the naughty fellow from almost touching the duck – which has had enough of ‘Kadlepuri’ for the past 15 minutes. It swims away in spite of lots of ‘puri’ floating around it.

There is suddenly a huge gang of people – grandpa, grandma, Appa, Amma, Uncle and aunty, kids plus cousins plus maids to look after the aged plus maids to look after the kids. In the gang, kids appear first fascinated by the ducks, followed by their parents – who have the ‘I have seen lots of ducks look’ on their faces, uncles and aunts adjusting their dresses, followed by the maids with deadpan expression and finally the grandpa and grandma who look so very happy to have come out of the house…

A few men and women are exaggeratedly walking with their outstretched hands as if there is no tomorrow. Maybe they want to make up  for the lost time over the years.

Amongst all these people, there are some who can be categorised as ‘show-off’ walkers. It seems they are not bothered to lose some weight or get fit, but their aim is to look in disdain at those who are SITTING! They take 8 steps between the benches, turn ‘Left’ and give a disgusting look at those who are sitting, look ahead, 8 steps, face turns ‘Left’ and disgusting look, 8 steps…. after 10 minutes they surface again! But this time they turn ‘Right’ to give the horrible look! Their main aim is to look down (literally) on those who are sitting. Or perhaps, the expression on their face is ‘like that only’ always!

On the way back home, we treated ourselves to a delicious tender coconut on the other side of the footpath. My wife doesn’t know that that was just an excuse to look at Dr.Rajkumar’s poster near the 18th cross Auto stand for a few minutes! ;)

Thamashe Treats…Just for Fun! – Dec 15, 2011

December 15, 2011

Deccan Herald has put up hoardings announcing its New Delhi edition. In each hoarding, we see a  historical landmark of Delhi along with Deccan Herald’s Bangalore edition masthead (yes, it’s that big!). It would have added more value if they had placed the Delhi edition masthead of the newspaper of the first day instead of March 26, 2011, Bangalore.

***

Finally heard the ‘Kolaveri’ number. I liked the usage of the nadaswara. Tune is ok…something that grows on you. Lyrics are below average. Singing hmmm…. nothing special. But people have liked it. What more do you want?

***

Security people at Malls act very haughty. They ought to be told to be polite and they should know they are security people, not school principals, nor are the public, school students. And WTH, they don’t even understand / talk Kannada. It’s really frustrating when you so very creatively scold someone and he can’t even appreciate the sarcastic humour!

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