Posts Tagged ‘Facebook’

ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು !

December 2, 2013

ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು !
ರಚನೆ: ರಾಮಕೃಷ್ಣ ಬೆಳ್ಳೂರು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಮಿಕ್ಸೀ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಟೊಮೇಟೋ ಜ್ಯೂಸ್ ಮಾಡೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಕ್ಕರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ವಿಸಿಲ್ ಶಬ್ಧ ಕೇಳೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಗ್ರೈಂಡರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಅದು ಹಿಟ್ಟು ರುಬ್ಬೋದನ್ನ ನೋಡೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇಬಲ್ ಟಿ.ವಿ. ಬಂದಾಗ
ರಿಮೋಟ್ ಹಿಡಿದು ಚಾನಲ್ ಬದಲಾಯಿಸೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಬೈಕ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಮೈಲೇಜ್ ಚೆಕ್ ಮಾಡೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಲಾಂಗ್ ಡ್ರೈವ್ ಹೋಗೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಫ್ರಿಡ್ಜ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಲೋಟದಲ್ಲಿ ರಸ್ನ ಜ್ಯೂಸ್ ಹಾಕಿ ಐಸ್ ಕ್ರೀಮ್ ಮಾಡೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಲೆದರ್ ಬಾಲ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಬ್ಯಾಟ್ ಅದನ್ನು ಹೊಡೆಯುವ ಸದ್ದು ಕೇಳೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿ.ಡಿ. ಪ್ಲೇಯರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಬೇಕಾದ ಹಾಡನ್ನು ಕೇಳೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಪ್ಪು ಬಣ್ಣದ ಲ್ಯಾಂಡ್ ಲೈನ್ ಫೋನ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
೧-೦-೦ ತಿರುಗಿಸೊದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಫ್ಯಾಕ್ಸ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಕರ್ರಾ ಕರ್ರಾ ಸದ್ದು ಕೇಳೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಪೇಜರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಮೆಸೇಜ್ ಕಳ್ಸೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಂಪ್ಯೂಟರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಚಾಟ್-ಇಮೇಲ್ ಮಾಡೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಫೇಸ್ ಬುಕ್ ಬಂದಾಗ
ಹಳೇ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರನ್ನ ಕಂಡು ಹಿಡಿಯೋದೇ ಮಜವಾಗಿತ್ತು

ನಮ್ಮ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಮೊಬೈಲ್ ಬಂದಾಗ….
(ಲೇಟೆಸ್ಟ್ ಇನ್ನು ಬಂದಿಲ್ಲ… ಈ ಸಾಲು ಸಶೇಷ)

PARENTS BUDDHI HELIDARE KELABAARDAMMA (spoof)

July 13, 2013

PARENTS BUDDHI HELIDARE KELABAARDAMMA (spoof)
(on the lines of Buddhimaatu Helidare Kelabekamma)
Composed & Sung by Ramakrishna Bellur Shivaram

Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma

Shuddhalaagi FB Hidkond Koorabekamma

Social Mediaganji Neenu Nadeyabekamma

FB-liror Akkareyannu Padeyabekamma

Hottuhottige Tweetgalanu Maadabekamma

Hattu Mandi Oppuva Haage Bareyabekamma… Bareyabekamma

(Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma…)

Comment Maaduva Nentarodane Dvesha Bedamma Magale

FB Maaduva Kaaladalli TV Bedamma

Serial Bagilalli Bandu Nillabedamma

Adige Maadada Gandanodane Sittu Bedamma

(Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma…)

TV-Mundhe Irorige Neenu Nyaaya Helabedamma

Phone-Alli Iddaga Online Kelasa Maadabedamma

FB Nindipa Hengalodane Serabedamma

Bellur RK Rachisiro Geethegalannu Mareyabedamma

(Parents Buddhi Helidare Kelabaardamma…)

Random Jottings on Facebook – 3

March 7, 2013

ಮೂರನೇ ಕ್ಲಾಸಲ್ಲಿ ನನ್ನ ಸ್ನೇಹಿತ ಸುರೇಶ್ ಮಣಿ ನನಗೆ ಹೇಳಿಕೊಟ್ಟ ಪಾಠ ಇನ್ನೂ ನೆನಪಿದೆ.

ಮಣಿ: ಕೋಳಿ ಕೂಗಿತು.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಕೋಳಿ?
ಮಣಿ: ಬಾತು ಕೋಳಿ.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಬಾತು?
ಮಣಿ: ಕೇಸರಿಭಾತು.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಕೇಸರಿ?
ಮಣಿ: ತಿನ್ನೊ ಕೇಸರಿ.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ತಿನ್ನು?
ಮಣಿ: ಏಟು ತಿನ್ನು.
(ನನಗೆ ಹೊಡೀತಾನೆ).
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಏಟು?
ಮಣಿ: ಗಾಂಧಿ ಏಟು.
ರಾಮ: ಯಾವ ಗಾಂಧಿ?
ಮಣಿ: ಮಹಾತ್ಮ ಗಾಂಧಿ.

ದಿನಕ್ಕೆ ಹತ್ತು ಸಲ ಈ ಆಟ. ಯಾವಾಗ್ಲೂ ನಾನೇ ಏಟು ತಿನ್ನಬೇಕು ಅಂತ ಅವನಾಸೆ. ದಿವಸ, ಮನೇಗೆ ಬರಕ್ಕೆ ಮುಂಚೆ, ಶಾಲೆಯ ಗೇಟ್ ಬಳಿ ಅವನಿಗೆ ಹತ್ತು ಏಟು ಹೋಡೆದು (ಒಂದೆರಡು ಕೊಸರು ಕೊಟ್ಟಿ) ತಪ್ಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದೇ ಒಂದಾಟ!

***

Mom to son:

L.A.-ge hogi L-A- meerbeda.
___

Mom to daughter:
Erode-ge hogi ee road mareebeda.

***

don’t know about bengaluru-mysore corridor,
or mumbai-bengaluru corridor
but ನಮ್ ರೋಡಲ್ಲಿ ಇರೋರೆಲ್ಲ ಕಾರಿಡಾರೇ!

***

This morning, for a short stretch, to my left was an AUTO and to my right was an ALTO.

***

Remember those olden day taps with a long white cloth tied to it?

***

You’ve seen the I-PAD. Remember the WE-PAD (Wooden Examination Pad)?!

It’s that time of the year, when exam pads make a quick entry into every student’s life. During my school days, we would inherit the exam pads from our elders. Hence the wooden pad would have been used by our uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers and finally reach us.

The dark brown pad (with rounded edges) would have a smooth surface on the front and a rough textured surface at the back. The front would have a ‘SRI’, ‘OM’, names of some of the previous owners written in various styles, in blue or green ink. Black or Red ink was considered inauspicious! I had written “Da- 2 small vertical lines- Raj” in a self designed stylish 3D font in Kannada when I got the pad sometime in 3rd standard. Before that, I don’t remember using one. I had used blue sketch pen to write this.

I somehow hated to use the pad just for what it was meant for. Hence, as soon as the exams got over, I would use the pad as a cricket bat, a frisbee, a sword, a fan, a TT bat…. and thus the dark brown pad would have some broken edges by late April. I would also test my endurance levels by putting my fingers under the clip… 3 seconds and the fingers would be removed! The pad would have one small needle like thing near the clip. And this would scratch atleast one of my fingers during every exam. During 6th standard, I remember pasting a poster of Rajkumar at the back of the pad.
It was a huge inspiration for me!

My son’s plastic Ben-10 pad brought back these memories this morning.

***

Plastic pencil box always looked weak. And that too if it had a single opening. A magnetic pencil box was a fantasy. I was unable to come to terms with myself for a week when my first brother-in-law gifted me one when I was in 2nd standard. It had totally 5 openings – 2 each on both sides and one in the middle, that made the box look like a small diary book. My friends here were in awe with that box.

Friends in “far off” Cochin school also got to see my magnetic box. I remember boys asking in Malayalam: Idu evadannakitti?!

When I graduated from that to the powerful Geometry box, the main attraction were the Compass, Divider, Set square, blotting paper, and of course, if you managed to have a Hero Pen, then you looked a true HERO!

And then came the Ink sharing programme!

***

The only place
which has offered
a ‘level’ playing field
for a Shastri, Poojara
Pandit, Adhikaari,
Nawab, Merchant,
Maharaja, Yuvaraja,
Engineer, Contractor
is ‘Test’ Cricket!

***

In some old hotels, even today, Bournvita, Horlicks and Badam Powder bottles are not inside the kitchen. They’re kept next to the Cashier.

***

Book Cricket, and other types of Cricket I played!

During 4th and 5th standard, ‘book cricket’ entered our lives. I remember playing it quite intensely with my pal Hanuman in 5th standard. As I contracted Jaundice during that time, I was not allowed to go out and play (missed school for quite some days). I used to play book cricket alone after writing down the names of the players (one team was always India, the other varied Eng, WI, Aus etc..) on two pages (it resembled almost a complete scorecard).

The runs were scored by flipping the book open at random and the last digit of the right-side (even-numbered) page was counted as the number of runs scored. 0 (and sometimes 8) were assigned to special rules, typically a wicket was lost when a person scored 0 and scoring 8 would be substituted for a No ball run and an additional chance. To give an example, if the batting side opened the book at page 26, then 6 runs would be scored. For the toss, what was generally done was that both the players open a page and the one whose last digit is greater wins.

Other types of Cricket that I played: Hand cricket and leg cricket! (self explanatory)

And one of my neighbourhood friends, Umesh, had this indoor Cricket board game, where wickets were placed on a green circular piece of clothing, toy fielders were positioned, boundary ropes were kept and the batsman (i.e. you) had a tiny bat to hit the ball which were, shiny ball bearings, that would be dropped from about 5cms height by another player. If the ball went into the small opening near the feet (V-shaped) of the fielder, it was out. If the ball bearing touched the ropes, it was a boundary.

***

“There was a bit of pressure on me. I just got married, and my wife was worried I should perform. We knew that the new ball would do a bit.”

- Double Centurion Cheteshwar Pujara while receiving the MOM award today.

ಅಪಾರ್ಥ ಮಾಡ್ಕೋಬೇಡ್ರಪ್ಪ!

***

“India deserve a lot of credit.” – Michael Clarke
(Most Indians nowadays are living only on Credit!)

***

unlessyougivespaceforeveryoneandeverythingitwillgetterriblysuffocating.

***

ಒಂದ್ ಕಾರ್ ಇನ್ನೊಂದ್ ಕಾರ್-ಗೆ ಡಿಕ್ಕಿ ಹೊಡೀತು. ಬಂಪರ್ ಜಖಂ.
ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ೧: ಬಂಪರ್ ಹಾಕಿಸ್ಕೋಡಿ.
ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ೨: ಬಂಪರ್ ಪ್ರೈಜ್ ಎಷ್ಟು?

***

ರಿಕ್ಷಾ ಡ್ರೈವರ್ ಗಳಿಗೆ ಶ್ಂಕರ್ ನಾಗ್ ಬಿಟ್ರೆ, ‘ಸಂಜೆ ವಾಣಿ’ನೇ next favourite!

***

Wherever I see LAKME , I invariably read it as LAKUMI.

***

‘Yorkshire Weather’ since morning in Bengaluru. Perfect for Cricket, Frisbee and a long leisurely walk in the market.

***

The strong yet subtle smell that surrounds you in a petty shop – a unique mix of Banana (Pach Baale), Fresh Newspapers rolled between glass bottlles, Magazines hung on thin wires, Cigarette smoke, Chikki, Chewing Gum, Modern Bread, Notebook…. cannot be recreated/ replicated anywhere!

ಪೆಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಜೈ!

***

Just like a Principal peeping into a class and walking away, the sun peeped once in Bengaluru disappeared.

***

After years of wear and tear, the Geometry box lid would start moving horizontally, a la Chiranjeevi while dancing! Once the Geometry box lid started acting loose, we would put a piece of paper and close it so that it sat tightly!

***

Blue & White Hawaii slipper and a ‘safety pin’! Made for each other (no more)!

***

I played with a short and fat scooter tyre and also a slim and trim cycle tyre… with which tyre did you play?

***

Ajji calls her grandson, who is listening to his i-pod, and asks him to buy get her a new Panchanga. The boy goes to a shop near 8th cross.

Boy: Uncle, Ondh Panchanga kodi.
Shopkeeper: Ontikoppal kodla?
Boy: Bisi idre kodi.
Shopkeeper: ?!?

(Boy thought the shopkeeper was offering him tea in a cup).

***

MET Dept. is getting a clearer picture on the Weather in different places through FB posts than the INSAT-1B* picture!

*FB posts are also a kind of IN-SAT…coz we sit inside and write!

***

ಬಾಗಿಲಿಗೆ ಹಾಕಿರೋ ಬೀಗ ಸ್ಟಕ್ ಆದಾಗ ಗಂಡ ಓಪನ್ ಮಾಡಕ್ಕ್ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಪಡೋದು ನೋಡಿ ಹೆಂಡತಿ ಸಲಹೆ ಕೊಡ್ತಾಳೆ:
ಎಣ್ಣೆ ಹಾಕ್ ಬಿಟ್ಟ್ ಟ್ರಯ್ ಮಾಡಿ!

***

While in school, doubts would crop up on a Sunday evening, a day before the exams! Some of us would study late into the night. Seeing this rare occurrence, one or the other member in the house would invariably utter this phrase: YUDDHAKAALE SHASTRAABHYAASA!

***

On the last day of the exam, we would frantically run behind our seniors, asking, begging them to sell their textbooks to us, for half rate. The condition of the textbook would decide the final rate. Dirtier the book, lower the price.

By 9th and 10th std., even the GUIDES would be in demand! Remember MBD Guides (Malhotra Book Depot)!

***

ಗುಂಡಾಯನಮಃ. ಗುಂಡೋಪಂತ್. ಉಂಡಾಡಿಗುಂಡ. ಗುಂಡಪ್ಪ. ಗುಂಡನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಜೋಕ್ಸು. ಗುಂಡನ ಇಟ್ಕೊಂಡು ಗಾದೆ (ಎಲೆ ಎತ್ತೋ ಗುಂಡ ಅಂದರೆ…)
ವೀ ಲವ್ ಗುಂಡ!

***
ಅಡ್ಡ ರಸ್ತೇಲಿರೋದು ತಪ್ಪಲ್ಲ. ಅಡ್ಡ ದಾರೀಲಿರೋದು ತಪ್ಪು.
ಬೆಳ್ಳೂರ್ ಉವಾಚ

Random Jottings on Facebook – 2

March 7, 2013

Ajji tells to her newly married granddaughter: So many News channels. Most of the time we hear bad news. No ‘Good News’ anywhere.

***

SC to Karnataka: Release 2.44 TMC water to TN

TMC andre Tambige Madike Chombu?!

***

Behind most successful love stories, there is a PAATI!

***

madhye madhye, POPE-dosha prayashchittartham, naamtraya japankarishye… :p

***

Rightly chosen! Shikar is The One!

***

Life goes on in spite of Bharath Bandh.
But life WILL be paralysed if there is a Facebook Bandh.

***

ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ೧: ಯಾಕೋ ಮಾಲ್ ಒಳಗೆ ಸಲೀಸಾಗಿ ಹೋಗಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗ್ತಿಲ್ಲ ಇವತ್ತು.
ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ೨: ಸೊಳ್ಳೆ ಪರ್ದೆ ಹಾಕಿದಾರೆ…ಹುಷಾರು!

***

just realised the meaning of an old kannada song today:
meaning : is it a bandh, kindarijogi?
song: bandh-aa bandh-aa bandh-aa bandh-aa kindarijogi

***

How much ever you play today, the score will read: LOVE ALL! (on val. day)

***

The 30-mins IQL, hosted by Gaurav Kapoor, is refreshing.

PS: If at all IQL is held in the rural areas of Karnataka, we can call it “halli I-QLu”.

***

ಈ ಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ಒಸ ಪ್ರಯಾಗ ಮಾಡಿದೀವಿ.
[ಚಿತ್ರಕ್ಕೆ ಪ್ರಯಾಗದ ಸೆಟ್ ಹಾಕಿದ ಕಲಾ ನಿರ್ದೇಶಕ ಹೀಗೆ ಹೇಳಬಹುದು!]

***

‘Kai Po Che’ had lots of Tamilians on the first day of its release. They thought it was a film about someone losing a hand.

***

‘Myna’ sequel-ge title suggestion: Yours-aa?

***

ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆ ಕಿಟಕಿಯಿಂದ ಕಾವೇರಿ ಹರಿಯೋದು ಸಲೀಸಾಗಿ ನೋಡಬಹುದು. She is tearing paper.

***

We all know Vidya Balan can do a pretty good job as MS. I am curious to see who will play the equally important roles of Sadasivam and GNB!

***

ಪಕ್ಕದ ಮನೆ ತಾತ ಫೋನಲ್ಲಿ: ಮನೇಲಿ ಶಾಂತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಶಾಂತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ ಮನೇಲಿ. ಹೂಂ… ನಿಜವಾಗ್ಲೂ ಮನೇಲಿ ಶಾಂತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ.

[ವಿ.ಸೂ. ಶಾಂತಿ ಅವರ ಪತ್ನಿ.]

***

Ajji was thrilled to know that the GOD PARTICLE has been found.
She asked her grandson: Saaligraama-nu sigtanteno?

***

I was chatting with an elderly person in my locality. While leaving, I asked him if he saw ‘Life of Pi’. He in turn asked his wife in chaste Konkani: “Is it about Ananth Pai?”

***

We usually say: Radha-gidha, Manju-ginju, Ramesha-gimesha, Asha-gisha…. but for names like Geetha, Gireesha, Girija, Giri… it feels odd to say the same word twice, alwa!?

***

The ORIGIN!
(say the below lines really fast and aloud)
what’s the key to the wrong one?
whatz the key 2the wrong ‘un?
watzkey2_rong-an
Vasuki Raghavan
the last one really zips fast across!

***

Every year during May-June, school textbooks are the bestsellers – ‘fiction’ category.

***

“ಗೇಟಿನ ಮುಂದೆ ವಾಹನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಬೇಡಿ” ಅಂತ ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ನೇತು ಹಾಕಿ, ಆ ಮನೆ ಓನರ್ಗಳೆ ಗೇಟಿನ ಮುಂದೆ ವಾಹನ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸ್ತಾರೆ! ಎಂಥಾ ಲೋಕವಯ್ಯ!

***

ನಮ್ ರೋಡ್ ಗುಡಿಸೋ ಲಲಿತಮ್ಮ ಪರಕೆ ಹಿಡಿಕೊಂಡು ಓಡಾಡೋ ವೈಖರಿ ಸೇಮ್ ಬ್ಯಾಟ್ಸ್ ಮನ್ ಶತಕ ಬಾರಿಸಿ ಬ್ಯಾಟ್ ಎತ್ತುವುದನ್ನು ಹೋಲುತ್ತದೆ!

***

In Kannada naad, if it is NAMMA Metro
will it be AMMA Metro in the neighbouring naad?

***

ಹದಿನೆಂಟು-ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತರಲ್ಲಿ ’ಸೈಟ್’ ಹೊಡೀತೀವಿ
ಮೂವತ್ತು-ನಲವತ್ತರ ’ಸೈಟ್’ ಮಾಡ್ತೀವಿ
ಆರಡಿ ಮೂರಡಿ ಸೈಟಲ್ಲಿ ಸೆಟ್ಲಾಗ್ತೀವಿ.

***

One thing that every generation of cricket playing kids here have inherited is saying ‘REALS’ after 3-4 TRIALS!

***

Time, Tide…(& Two-wheeler riders in Bangalore) wait for none. :(

Random Jottings on Facebook – 1

March 7, 2013

I feel Telugu speaking people think twice nowadays before saying TOMORROW in their language!

***

i can tell you by experience, sisters are more concerned about their siblings. That’s the reason, they call even a company a SISTER CONCERN…not BROTHER CONCERN!

***

A: Hi Buddy !
B: Hi Maga !
C: A+B !

***

Had a refreshing dream early in the morning. I saw VENKATAPATHY RAJU coming in as an OPENING BATSMAN! And he was in WHITES!

***

For some of us, yelli OC sikkidru OK. For Pak soldiers, LOC sikkidre OK!

***

Ajji: BEER aaytha?

Aunty: Innu swalpa ide!

***

ನಾವು ರೇಶನ್ ಅಂಗಡಿಗೆ ಅಲೆದಲೆದು ಬೆಳೆದವು ಅಂದು
ಕೇಳುವರು ಈಗಿನವರು “ರೇಶನ್ ಅಂಗಡಿ ಅಂದರೆ” ಏನೆಂದು
ಇದನ್ನ ಜನರೆಲ್ಲರೂ ಕರೆಯುತ್ತಾರೆ ಜನ-ರೇಶನ್ ಗ್ಯಾಪ್ ಎಂದು!

***

HELL IS UNDER RENOVATION.
Because humans have got used to the tortures given in Hell.
Just like mosquitoes have got used to Odomos & Good Knight.
Hell is getting new and improved torturing devices.
Until then, all those supposed to enter Hell are being reborn as Mobile phones.

PS: This is a stop-gap arrangement.

***

When I hear an ambulance speeding on the road with the siren sound, I feel it is the patient inside shouting: now-novvu-now-novvu-now-novvu. Sometimes, the Yamakinkaras are trying to take the patient away. That is when the ambulance siren sound resembles a loud NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO!

Old words with new meanings

November 19, 2012

‘Sim’ was a word that mother knew and used often. I only followed her instruction when she would say from the verandah (while talking to our neighbour) – keep the milk for heating…not HIGH, just SIM. Today, I don’t hear anyone say this. The only SIM that people of today know is the Mobile SIM. Today the word HIGH means one who is HIGH on drugs.

A ‘metro’ was always a metropolitan city, made popular by Doordarshan’s news readers (The temperatures in the four metros are…). Now when we hear someone say Metro, we need to know if it is the Metro cash and carry or Namma Metro, or one of the four metros!

‘Flex’ is another word that you hear so much. Earlier, those who would exercise would flex their muscles. Today, flex more often than not means the material for printing anything and everything – from the traffic rules (with pictures of 3 ants or Sri Veerendra Hegde or Rahul Dravid), to announcing the birthday of Karave Narayana Gowdaru or informing us near Devegowda petrol bunk that the current CM is not Yeddy or his buddy, but it is Jaggi on whom the rivals are waiting to close the shutter…to letting us know that fruit seller Mariyanna or little Selvaganesh or groundnut seller Kempamma are no more.

Every word has a variety of connotations which can be added to, removed or altered over time. Sometimes this occurs to the extent that words from one point in time have very different meanings in relation to another time. A good example of a recent semantic change is of the word mouse; with the advent of computer technology, the word for the animal has been used to refer to the device.

Nowadays, when you say even the most common or innocuous word or phrase, it would have some new definition that was apparently written yesterday because you never heard it before. One example that comes to mind is the word “sick” which apparently now is being used to indicate something “cool” or “exciting” or “awesome.” This usage almost literally makes me sick. Sick means sick, and this “new” definition is just beyond ridiculous.

Apple was just a fruit till a few years ago. Now when a kid asks “do you have an apple at home?” you have to think which apple is this little know-all devil asking and then say the answer. Then, an apple a day kept the doctors away. Now an apple a day keeps the Mac guys happy.

Inside school, Galaxy was a system of millions or billions of stars, together with gas and dust, held together by gravitational attraction – the one which the solar system is a part; the Milky Way. Outside school, it meant the posh theatre on Residency road. Today, Galaxy is neither of the two. It primarily means a mobile.

Ditto with Blackberry. The fruit has been overshadowed by its mobile namesake!

WORD meant a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing. Today it means MS Word (which is a proprietary word processor), a file format. EXCEL, which earlier meant to shine, is today a commercial spreadsheet application, and a file format.

Stumble was when someone walked unsteadily or a misstep.  Now it means the personal recommendation engine StumbleUpon.

In mathematics, FB series (Fourier–Bessel series) is a particular kind of generalized Fourier series (an infinite series expansion on a finite interval) based on Bessel functions. Need I say what FB means today?

Ever since I can remember, the word ‘Majestic’ for me means Cinema halls, Central Bus stand and Bangalore Railway Station! I need to be told it also means royal and regal!

‘Bandwidth’ was a data transmission rate; the maximum amount of information that can be transmitted along a channel. Now it is the capacity of a person to handle tasks or issues, either actual or emotional.

‘Go green’ was earlier meant to convey envy. Today anyone going green is good for the environment, as it means environmentally friendly. As the need for recycling has developed, ‘green’ has become not only a word to describe colour, but to describe a person who is doing their bit for the environment.

Writers in the previous century used the word ‘gay’ in a carefree way to express happiness (as in gay abandon). Now they have abandoned the usage. The meaning of ‘gay’ has changed over the years from happy to homosexual.

Most of us use the word ‘Google’, the internet search technology company and platform, instead of ‘Search’ – to search the internet for information.

Outlook meant viewpoint. Today, it more often than not means either the software product from Microsoft or the weekly english newsmagazine.

Space only meant the outer space. Today, even the Ajji at the temple knows how much space her Galaxy has for storing pictures and music!

The word ‘At’ was used as a function word to indicate presence or occurrence in, on, or near. Now most of us write the symbol @ instead of the whole word. Any e-mail address is incomplete / incorrect without the symbol.

Stream meant a body of water with a current that’s confined within a bed. And now, it is used to mean a constantly flowing body of updates, photos, images, and other content on social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Some of the text msgs hv riDQlous sentences with lotsa acronyms. LOL! Some acronyms hv multiple mngs for specific trgt audience. POS is a commonly used acronym. If you are a teenager, it can mean Parents Over Shoulder. For a sales person, it means Point of Sale. For a person into linguistics, it is Part of Speech. For the guy interested in visiting the Carribbean, it is Port of Spain.

A3 is a page size for the designers and printers. For teenagers, it means Anywhere, Any time, Any place.

We knew that PTO meant Page Turn Over or Please Turn Over. It also fitted perfectly into Kannada – Puta thirugisi odhi! Now, those who chat, use it to mean Pass This On!

I feel World Taekwondo Federation, Wikileaks Task Force, Western Task Force, Williamstown Theatre Festival and even the World Trade Fair face a common problem – they must be feeling embarassed to use the abbreviated form (WTF). Even if they use the abbrv. form, the person reading might read it by default as What the….!

ATM for some of us means Automated Teller Machine (only a place where we can get cash). For the SMS generation, it also means At the moment.

VAT today is Value Added Tax. Earlier it meant a bottle of Vat 69 whisky.

For us, Hand means hand. For teens, it is Have a nice day! I knew SMH as Kirmani’s initials. But I got to know it also means Shaking my head! (what you are doing now!)

Coming back to the words,’ Cool’ once only meant something somewhat cold. Now, anyone who doesn’t crib or scold, and agrees to any nonsense happening around him/her, is cool! Or when a teenager understands something as basic a sentence as: Today is Sunday, his/her reaction can be ‘Cool!’ I feel they say it when the situation is in their favour.

At the same time, ‘Hot’ once only meant something somewhat hot. Today you use the word to describe the ladies who dance for the item songs in all woods (holly, bolly, kolly, tolly, molly, sandal…) (someone who is physically attractive). It shows that language is changing because the views on sexuality and expression is becoming more open and as opposed to years ago it is not as sinful to talk about and express.

Cell can mean either a biological unit of living organism, or the ‘box’ where a column and a row intersect, in a spreadsheet, or a prison or a cellphone.

‘Link’ always meant a relationship between two things or situations, esp. where one thing affects the other. Today, a link is more often than not an address to a particular website.

Spam in the olden days meant food. Now it means junk email.

‘Plus One’ was what I studied after 10th standard. Now, it is used to mean a new initiative that allows anyone searching Google to publicly endorse web results they like. It’s a kind of digital shorthand for a thumbs-up.

We don’t bother about a person’s ‘memory’. We only want to know the computer’s ‘memory’, made up of chips that temporarily hold data or instructions in a computer.

Mouse was always a famous and important cartoon character in either Tom & Jerry or Mickey & Donald series. Now, we can’t think anything else other than the small input device we work with to operate our computer.

Surf was only a washing powder, which the sensible, value-conscious housewife ‘Lalitaji’ asked us to buy. Today, Surf in the Internet parlance means ‘surf’ or browse the Internet.

A ‘bridge’ was built normally over a water-body to enable traffic across, or it was a game. Interestingly in network terminology, a bridge is a device which connects multiple network segments at the innermost data layers. And for the graphic designers, bridge usually means Adobe Bridge.

Yahoo was what Shammi Kapoor shouted in the song. For the current generation (don’t know if it is the X, Y or Z gen that is running now), Yahoo  is a famous web portal.

A’ tag’ that normally labels instructions or the price of items has also entered the tech-world. It is now used by web-developers to create itemised contents for the web-pages with relevant key-words that help search engines like Google or Bing to bring out the relevant pages when these key-words are searched for.

Server was usually in volleyball / tennis,or in the hotels. Now it is related to technology. Post was part of a fence or what the postman delivered. Today, post needs no explanation.

Thread used to be a piece of string. Again no explanation needed for the current use. Text was simply letters typed out. Now it means a text message.

Biological virus cause illness to living beings, while rogue software ‘virus’ infect and take down even powerful computers that are not adequately protected. Similarly a ‘bug’ is an insect in the real world while it means an error in software programming parlance or a technical flaw in a hardware solution.

Last but not the least, the first 3 letters of my name, RAM, doubles up as ‘Random Access Memory’ in the digital realms. When someone asks me : How much ram is required for windows 7 64 bit? I say: Till I am there, one will do!

As time moves on we come across new terms and old words with new meanings and learn to adapt to their new meaning by repeated use. It only takes a good weather day to sit back relaxed and think retrospectively as to how these common words once meant something so simple in our lives, have been very much complicated by technology. Until we meet again, boot your windows, run your mouse and keep surfing the web.

Now it’s your turn. What others might you add? Feel free to mention your list in the comments section!

Off Facebook for good!

August 17, 2012

It was a very impulsive decision on my part to get onto the bus called Facebook. And it has been a very impulsive decision to get off it. Enjoyed every minute of the ride! Want to end my journey here. My stop has come, and am alighting off FB! [I can hear a sigh of relief from all my books, and of course my beloved blog*!]

Thanks to all my friends & relatives who encouraged me, liked me, shared my works and enjoyed reading my comments!

Take care and enjoy the rest of your ride!

Goodbye from Ramakrishna Bellur Shivaram!

* I am accessible at this blog!

***

The day I joined FB

Facebook

June 17, 2012

There was a time when we studied: Man is a social animal.

But people around me today have taught me: Without diving into social networking sites, man is nothing but animal.

So, I finally thought – LIKE FB, even if you are not LIKED by many!

FB Toons by RK – 7

January 1, 2012


Cartoon: RK

Also visit the Cartoon page on RwB.

FB Toons by RK – 6

November 2, 2011


Cartoon: RK

Also visit the Cartoon page on RwB.

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