HUMOURless TUMOUR

January 2, 2013

HUMOURless TUMOUR
by bellur ramakrishna

there is a rumour
that people call us charmers
because of our
sense of humour
which is our armour
and we don’t use it for glamour
chewing a boomer
we know ‘our’ grammer
and the day we spend without humour
we become a loner and
we may develop a tumour

***

when you are writing placards saying KILL THE RAPIST… HANG THE RAPIST… first of all, give spacing between the words… or else it will read: KILL THERAPIST, HANG THERAPIST!

***

Ajji was going with her grandson in an auto to Sevakshetra in Banashankari to see a relative who was admitted there. On the way, Ajji asked her grandson: Sevakshetra yaar kattsiddu gotteno?

Gottajji. Sehwag alwa? (He always heard it as Sehwag Kshetra).

***

In the year 1996, a film titled THE BEE was planned, which would feature JACKIE CHAN.

Chan’s character in this film would attempt to catch a bee with a mind of its own, which would always escape.

Jackie was offered this film after the success of ‘Rumble in the Bronx’ in the US, but he decided he didn’t want to appear in a film where he was depicted as being less intelligent than an insect.

Eega, ee storyline familiar ansatte alwa ?!

***

rashtrapati = pranabda
rashtrapati maga = same spelling (only replace N with R) [his bday yday]

***

My wife, while she was working, had a colleague by the name Sarvari. This lady, ever since she is born, is so famous in Karnataka. She is invited for any and every function held here. But she doesn’t attend even one of them.

They write on the 6ft x 4ft banner “Sarvari, you are also invited” in Kannada – Sarvarigu swagatha!

Alas! She doesn’t attend them.

***

The way flower rates are shooting up during festivals, in the course of time we will hear this conversation:

Lady 1: We are celebrating Varamahalakshmi vratha. Do come over tomorrow evening.

Lady 2: Sure, anyway we don’t have the vratha at our home.

(At Lady 1’s place the next evening)

Lady 2: Oh! You keep real flowers is it…at my aunt’s place, they do it with paper flowers.

Lady 3: At mine, we celebrate with plastic flowers!

(We hear a few scorns…. because plastic is not eco friendly).

I know you will ask me next “what about the fruits?”

All houses in the future will keep APPLE products in front of the god as Naivedya…😉

***

The smell you get in the neighbourhood grocery stores – like those Srinivasa Stores, Raghavendra Stores…. the air with a mix of gunny bag smell + Jaggery smell + Rice smell….acts as a stimulant….which none of these supermarts can replicate!

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