Posts Tagged ‘MILKY WAY’

Random Jottings on Facebook – 7

September 6, 2016

ಡಿಯರ್ ಆರ್-ಜೇಸ್,
ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಿವಸ ಈ ಕೆಳಗಿನ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನು ಪ್ಲೇ ಮಾಡದಿದ್ದರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೇದು.
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನೀನು ನಮಗಾಗಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ಎಂದರೆ ಏನೋ ಹರುಷವು
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದರೆ
• ನಾ ಅಮ್ಮ ಎಂದಾಗ ಏನೋ ಸಂತೋಷವು
• ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಮ್ಮ ಅನ್ನೋ ಮುತ್ತು ಬಂತು ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ಎದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ತೋಳಿನಲ್ಲಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಾನು ದೇವರಾಣೆ
• ಗುಮ್ಮನ ಕರೆಯದಿರೆ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಮ್ಮ ಐ ಲವ್ ಯು
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಹಿತೈಷಿ

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ಭಾರತ ಬಂದು, ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ಬಂದು, ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಬಂದು, airportಇಂದ ಮನೇಗೆ ಬರ್ತಾ pollution, ಧೂಳು ಹೊಗೆ ನೋಡಿ ಬಾಯಿ ಬಂದು.

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ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಊಟ-ತಿಂಡಿ ಮಾಡೋವಾಗ ತಾಯಿಯನ್ನ ಕರೆದು “ನೀರು” ಅಂತ ಕೇಳುವವರಿಗೆ ಎಚ್ಚರಿಕೆ!
“ಅಮ್ಮಾ! ನೀರು ಬೇಕು” ಅಂತಾ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಕೇಳೋ ಹಾಗೆ ಕೂಗಿದ್ರೆ ಸಾಲದು… ’ಅಮ್ಮಾ’ಗೆ ಕೇಳಿಸಬೇಕು, ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಬೇಕು – ‘ನಮಗೇ’ ನೀರು ಬೇಕು ಅಂತ!

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ಮಹಾ ತಾಯೆ! ಕಾವೇರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾವು, ಬಿಸ್ಲೇರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಸಿ… ಒಟ್ಟಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಕೃಷ್ಣ!!! ನೀರು ತಣ್ಣಗಿಲ್ಲ, ಕುದೀತಿದೆ!

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ATM ಒಳಗೆ ಕಾಲಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಸಾಕು, ಎಲ್ಲರೂ artist ಆಗಿಬಿಡ್ತಾರೆ. ಯಾಕೆ, ನನ್ನ ಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲವಾ? ಬೇಕಾದರೆ ನೋಡಿ, ಯಾರಾದರೂ ATM ಒಳಗೆ ಕಾಲಿಟ್ಟ ಒಡನೆ Draw ಮಾಡ್ತಾರೆ.

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HILLARY+U.S.= HILARIOUS

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ಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವಾರು ಶ್ರೀ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರಗಳಿವೆ.
ಭಾರತದ ಹೊರಗಿರುವ ಏಕೈಕ ಶ್ರೀ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರ: ಶ್ರೀ ಲಂಕಾ.
ಬೈ ದಿ ಬೈ, ನಮ್ಮನೇ ಕೂಡ ಶ್ರೀ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರ!
{ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ವಿಷಯ. ನಮ್ಮನೆ ಕುಕ್ಕೇ ಶ್ರೀ!}

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ಒಂದ್ ಥರಾ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಹಾಕಿದ್ರೆ:
ಕನ್ನಡಕ್ಕೆ 29-11-1982 ಹೇಗೋ ಹಿಂದೀಗೆ 15-03-1993.

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What are Concrete numbers?
The number of times you eat Uppitt.

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We like to be rated as adults. But we are adulterated. Mostly.

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ಆರೆಸ್ಸೆಸ್ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ವಾರ್ಮ್ ಬ್ಲಡಡ್ ಅಂತಾ ಆಗಿಹೋಗಿದೆ. ಯಾಕೆ?
Because ಅವರದ್ದು ಶಾಖಾ ಹೆಚ್ಚು.

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ET in English was released in 1982.
16 years earlier, ET* in Kannada was released in 1966.
PK in Hindi was released in 2014.
47 years earlier, PK** in Kannada was released in 1967.
First James Bond film Dr. No was released in 1962.
Kannada’s first Bond film was released in 1968. Our speciality is:
James Bond = JB
Jedara Bale = JB
*ET = Emme Thammanna
** PK = Parvathi Kalyana
[Jwarada Side Effects]

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When the race started, Abbey D’Agostino was running to win the medal. But within minutes, there was a halo” over her head!
The term “Olympic spirit” is being heard since yesterday.
What is it? The Agence France-Presse wrote: “True Olympic spirit is often found away from gold medallists with their agents and sponsorship deals — it is found in its purest sense in those that come last.
I remembered my Ajji because she echoed that spirit every time she won a game of ‘Chouka-Bhaara’. When I felt sad that I had lost, she would say: “ಸೋತೋರೇ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯೋರು!”
What a way to console! (hearing those words, i felt a halo appeared over my head!)

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Dear BYJU’s,
Pythagoras theorem has been learnt. Ready for the next lesson.🙂

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ತಂದೆ ನಿರಕ್ಷರ ಕುಕ್ಷಿ. ಮಗ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಓದಲಿ ಅಂತ ಆಸೆ. ಆದ್ರೆ ಮಗನಿಗೆ ಓದಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಸಕ್ತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆ ರಿಸಳ್ಟ್ ಬಂತು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಮಗ ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮಾರ್ಕ್ಸ್ ತಗಂಡೆ?
ಮಗ: ಡಾಕ್ಟ್ರು ಮಗ ಪೇಲು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೌದಾ..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು?
ಮಗ: ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರ್ ಮಗ ಪೇಲು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟೋ?
ಮಗ: ಹೋಟ್ಲು ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜರ್ ಮಗಾನೂ ಪೇಲು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ನಿಂದ್ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ, ಬೇರೇಯವ್ರದ್ ಯಾಕ್ಲಾ ಯೋಳ್ತಿದೀ? ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು?
ಮಗ: ಆ ಆರ್ಕಿಟೆಕ್ಟ್ ಮಗಾ, ಮನೆ ಓನರ್ ಮಗ, ಕಂಟ್ರಾಕ್ಟ್ರು ಮಗ ಎಲ್ರೂ ಪೇಲ್.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಲೋ..ಬಡ್ಡಿ ಮಗ್ನೆ, ಅವ್ರದ್ ನೆಗೆದ್ ಬಿದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೇನು..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು ಬಂತ್ ಯೋಳ್ಲಾ?
ಮಗ: ಅಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡ್ ಮನ್ಷ್ರ್ ಮಕ್ಳೇ ಪೇಲು. ನೀನೇನ್ ಐಯ್ಯೇಸ್ಸಾ? ನಿನ್ ಮಗಾನೂ ಪೇಲೇ.
***
ಈಗ ಈ ಸೀನಲ್ಲಿ* ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಚೇಂಜ್.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮೆಡಲ್ ಗೆದ್ದ್ಯೋ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಭಾರತಕ್ಕೇನೂ ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೌದಾ..ನೀನ್ ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮೆಡಲ್ ಗೆದ್ದೆ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಶ್ರೀ ಲಂಕಾಗೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ.. ನೀನ್ ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮೆಡಲ್ ಗೆದ್ದೆ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಪಾಕಿಸ್ತಾನಕ್ಕೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ನಿಂದ್ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ, ಬೇರೇಯವ್ರದ್ ಯಾಕ್ಲಾ ಯೋಳ್ತಿದೀ? ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಆ ನೇಪಾಳ, ಮ್ಯಾನ್ಮಾರ್, ಭೂಟಾನ್ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಲೋ..ಬಡ್ಡಿ ಮಗ್ನೆ, ಅವ್ರದ್ ನೆಗೆದ್ ಬಿದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೇನು..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು ಬಂತ್ ಯೋಳ್ಲಾ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಅಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡ್ ದೇಶ್ದೋರೆ ಗೆಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನಿನ್ ಮಗ ಏನು ಮಹಾ ಸೈಜ಼ು? ಅವ್ನಿಗೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
*ಈ ಜೋಕು ಈ ಕ್ಷಣದವರೆಗೂ ಮಾತ್ರ ಪ್ರಸ್ತುತ. ಮುಂದಿನ ಕಥೆ ಬಲ್ಲವರಾರು!

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’ಪಡುವಾರಹಳ್ಳಿ ಪಾಂಡವರು’ ಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಇವರ ಎರಡು ಕವನಗಳನ್ನು ಬಳಸಲಾಗಿದೆ. ಈ ಕವಿಯ ಹೆಸರನ್ನು ಸ್ಪೆಲಿಂಗ್ ಮಿಸ್ಟೇಕ್ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಕರೆಕ್ಟಾಗಿ ’ಕೈಯ್ಯರ’ ಬರೆದ್ರೆ – ಔಟಾಫ್ ಔಟ್!

***

When power goes, we usually check if there is power in the neighbour’s house. If there is no power there, we cross-check if the power is gone in the whole street. Usually one house will have a UPS. So we don’t bother about him. Hardly anyone bothers to complain to Bescom.
Same way, India and its neighbours Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh, Myanmar and Bhutan have all won no medals (so far). Forget China – they’re like that house with the UPS. And none of us bother to complain to the IOA.

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LhGl to glOz – 70 years
To get this, please type 1947 and 2016 on a calculator and turn it around.

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Deepa Karmakar = PRODUNOVA
We are PROUD of you Deepa, we share your ನೋವ.

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ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೆ ಒಂದ್ ದಿವಸ ದೇಶದ ಧ್ವಜ ಹಾರಿಸ್ತೀವಿ. ಉಳಿದ ಮುನ್ನೂರರವತ್ತೈದ್ ದಿವಸ ನಮ್ ನಮ್ ಧ್ವಜ ಹಾರಿಸ್ಕೊಳ್ತೀವಿ.

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ಮನೆದೇವರು ನರಸಿಂಹ. ಮಗ-ಸೊಸೆ ಇಬ್ಬರು ಡಾಕ್ಟ್ರು. ಅನುಕೂಲಸ್ತರು. ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದರು. ಮನೆದೇವರ ಹೆಸರೂ ಇಟ್ಟಂಗ್ ಆಗಬೇಕು, ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಅಂತಲೂ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಬೇಕು.
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಏನು ಹೆಸರಿಟ್ಟ್ರು?
ನರಸಿಂಗ್ ಹೋಮ್.

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ಝಂಡಾ ಹಾರಿಸೋದೇ ಇಂದಿನ agenda.

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Periodic Function: ಮದುವೆ, ಮುಂಜಿ, ತಿಥಿ… ಹೀಗೆ ಹಲವಾರು functions held periodically.

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Pill: Taken when we’re ill.

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Sublime: When the vehicle tyres get to taste Nimboo juice during Ayudha Pooje.

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Resistance Training: Refusal to go to the gym

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Aeroplane: Airಅಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾರಲು ನಾವು ಏರೋ ವಾಹನ.

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ಅಪ್ಪ: ಇಷ್ಟ್ ಹೊತ್ತ್ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಈ ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಕೇಳ್ ಆ ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಬಿಡು ಅಂತಲ್ಲ. ಗೊತ್ತಾಯ್ತಾ?
ಮಗ: (on the sofa-ಕಾಲ್ ಮೇಲ್ ಕಾಲ್-fiddling with mobile)
ಅಮ್ಮ: ರೀ, ಮೊದ್ಲು “ಈ” ಕಿವೀಗೇ ಹೋಗಿಲ್ಲ… ಇನ್ನೇನ್ ಆ ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಬಿಡೋದು! ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಇಯರ್ ಫೋನ್ ಇದ್ದಾಗ ಅವ್ನನ್ ಬೈ ಬೇಡಿ ಅಂತಾ ಹೇಳಿಲ್ವಾ?

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Hypertext: Those who text excessively.

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ಒಲಂಪಿಕ್ಸ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ವಾಕಿಂಗ್ ರೇಸ್ ಕೂಡ ಇದೆ. ಭಾಗವಹಿಸೋರಿಗೆ ಆಲ್ ದಿ ಬೆಸ್ಟ್! ಆದ್ರೆ ನನ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಅನುಮಾನ: ಸ್ಪರ್ಧಿಗಳಿಗೆ ನೆಗಡಿ ಇದ್ದರೆ disqualify ಆಗ್ತಾರಾ ಅಂತ!
Because if your nose is running, you can’t be walking.

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YOLO: Depending on the situation, it can either mean –
Seven or Say.
Eg: ಎಷ್ಟು ಟೇಮು ಯೋಳೋ?
ಯೋಳೋ ಯೆಂಟೋ ಆಗದೆ ಕಣ್ಲ.

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ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ ಕಚಗುಳಿ ತಡೆಯೋಕ್ಕೇ ಆಗಲ್ಲ. ಬಹಳ ನಗ್ತಾರೆ. ಅಂಥವರಿಗೆ ಕಚಗುಳಿ ಕೊಡಕ್ಕೆ ನಾವು ಎದ್ದರೆ? ಕಚಗುಳಿ ಅಂದ ಕೂಡಲೆ ಅವರು 1852 ಮೀಟರ್ (2025 ಯಾರ್ಡ್ಸ್) ದೂರ ಓಡಿದಾಗ, it becomes nautical mile.

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Was chatting with the accounts person and asked him if he followed the Olympics. To my surprise, he said “Yes”. And guess his favourite event? Vault.

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Radium Americium Krypton Iodine Sulphur Hydrogen Sodium =
Ra Am Kr I S H Na
Elements in your name?

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ಟೆರರಿಸ್ಟ್ ಏನು ಡೊನೇಟ್ ಮಾಡ್ಬೋದು?
ಆರ್ ಗನ್.

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ಮಹಾತ್ಮರ ಶಾಪಕ್ಕೆ ಜಯ-ವಿಜಯರು ಗುರಿಯಾಗಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ನಾರಾಯಣ ಪ್ರತ್ಯಕ್ಷನಾಗಿ ಕೇಳುತ್ತಾನೆ:
ಜಯ-ವಿಜಯರೇ, ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದವರು ಶಿಕ್ಷೆ ಅನುಭವಿಸಲೇ ಬೇಕು. ಹೇಳಿ, ಭೂಲೋಕದಲ್ಲಿ ನನಗೆ ಶತೃಗಳಾಗಿ ಮೂರು ಜನ್ಮಗಳುದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ಸಮಸ್ತ ಮಾನವಕುಲಕ್ಕೆ candy crush request ಕಳುಹಿಸಿ ನಂತರ ನನ್ನ ಸನ್ನಿಧಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತೀರೋ? ಇಲ್ಲ ಮಿತ್ರರಾಗಿ ಏಳು ಜನ್ಮಗಳನ್ನೆತ್ತಿ ನಂತರ ನನ್ನ ಸನ್ನಿಧಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತೀರೋ?
ಜಯ-ವಿಜಯರು: ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಕಾಲ ನಿನ್ನ ಸನ್ನಿಧಿಯನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು, ಇರಲಾರೆವು ಪ್ರಭು! ಶತೃಗಳಾದರೂ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲ, ಕ್ಯಾಂಡಿ ಕ್ರಷ್ ರಿಕ್ವೆಸ್ಟೇ ಸಾಕು!
ಹೀಗಾಗುರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯವೇ?!
Candy Crush Request ಎಂಬ ಶಾಪ

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ಕಣ್ಣು ಕೆಂಪಗೆ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದು ಬೇರೆ, ಕಣ್ಣು red ಆಗೋದು ಬೇರೆ.

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A miracle took place in front of my eyes today morning: A girl on a Scooty had the Right indicator ON, lifted the Right hand a bit before turning, and REALLY made a RIGHT turn!

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ದೇವರು ಹೆಂಗಸರಿಗೆ ಬೇಗ ಒಲಿಯೋದು. ಯಾಕೆ? ದೇವರ ಸಾಕ್ಷಾತ್ಕಾರವಾಗಲು ಇರುವ ಮಾರ್ಗಗಳನ್ನೇ ಅವರ ಹೆಸರಾಗಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ!
ಪ್ರಾರ್ಥನಾ, ಅರ್ಚನಾ, ಪೂಜಾ, ದೀಕ್ಷಾ, ಭಕ್ತಿ, ಶ್ರದ್ಧಾ, ಸಾಧನಾ, ಆರತಿ, ತಪಸ್ಯಾ, ವಿದ್ಯಾ, ತಾಪಸಿ, ಶಾಂತಿ, ಸಹನಾ…

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ನನ್ನ ಮಗ ಈಗ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು (ಗೆಲಿಲಿಯೋ ಪಾಠ ಓದುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಗ):
ಗೆಲಿಲಿಯೋ ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಆಕಾಶ ನೋಡ್ತಾನ್ಯೇ ಹೊರತು ಭೂಮಿ ನೋಡಲ್ಲ!
#KasturiNivasa

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Hyperbola : Talking too much

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What are even and odd numbers?
Ask a Delhiite. What do I know.

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Maryland: India, of course!
Thailand: Namma Karnataka!

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What are Real Numbers?
Numbers in Upendra’s Age, Phone no., Address, Vehicle regn. no., Aadhar Card, Pan Card etc.

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What are negative numbers?
Numbers <35

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Q. What are Roman Numbers?
Imagine making Iyengar puliogare using chinese ingredients!
Same way, Numbers written without using any numbers but English alphabet.

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Q. What are Roman Numbers?
Imagine making Iyengar puliogare using chinese ingredients!
Same way, Numbers written without using any numbers but English alphabet.

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Q. What are Whole numbers?
A. 4, 6, 8, 9, 0

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Cinders: ಮುಖ ಸಿಂಡರಿಸಿದಾಗ ಕಾಣುವ ಗೆರೆಗಳು

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magine a foreigner joining a class here which has 118 kids. Suppose 82 of these kids are named: Kallesha, Mallesha, Lakshmisha, Rakesha, Rajesha, Somesha, Harisha, Nagesha, Gowrisha, Madesha, Ganesha, Veeresha, Neelesha, Pranesha, Gyanesha, Anisha, Abhilasha, Manjusha, Amisha, Anusha, Shrisha, Usha, Nirosha, Manisha, Paresha, Ramesha, Paramesha, Natesha, Shailesha, Umesha, Mahesha, Kaatesha, Lokesha and so on.
That is like almost 70% of the 118 kids names are rhyming.
Imagine the foreigner trying to remember his classmates’ names! I think that is how kids feel when they read the names of the elements in the Periodic Table, with so many names ending with IUM.

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Escalator: Transition ಮೆಟ್ಟಲ್

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Allow: Used as a greeting while answering the telephone

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ಸದ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ, ನನ್ನ ಸುಪುತ್ರ ಮತ್ತು ನಮ್ ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟರ್ಸ್ ಇಬ್ಬರದ್ದು ಒಂದೇ ಕಥೆ: ಟೆಸ್ಟು-ಟೆಸ್ಟು-ಟೆಸ್ಟು

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ಹೆಂಗಾಗ್ಬಿಟೀದೀವಿ ಅಂದ್ರೆ… ಶೆಲ್ಫಿಂದ ಹಳೇ ಫೋಟೋ ಆಲ್ಬಂ ನೋಡಕ್ಕೇ ಅಂತಾ ತೆಗೆದ್ರೆ, ಯಾಕ್ ಯಾವ್ ಫೋಟೋನೂ ಪ್ಲೇ ಆಗ್ತಿಲ್ವಲ್ಲಾಂತನ್ಸತ್ತೆ!

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Bheemana Amavasye: Chota Bheem’s birthday

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One of my Tamilian friend’s father was leaving to the US wearing a US Polo shirt. I told him it was a good choice to wear that shirt. Because ‘US Polo’ in Tamil means “Let’s go to US”.

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Radioactivity: RJ @ work

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ಇನ್ನೂ ಹುಟ್ಟಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ ಪೋಲಿ ಆಗೋದು ಯಾರು: ಪೋಲಿಷ್.

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Which is an atheist’s favourite movie?
GODZ ILLA.

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ಅಮ್ಮ (ಮಗನ್ನ ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ಆಡಕ್ಕೆ ಫ್ರೆಂಡ್ಸ್ ಬಂದ್ ಕರ್ದಾಗ): ರಾಜು, ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಿದೆ. ಹೊರ್ಗ್ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ನೆಗಡಿ-ಜ್ವರ ಬಂದ್ರೆ? ಹುಷಾರ್ ತಪ್ಪಿದ್ರೆ? ಹೋಗ್ಬೇಡಾ ಆಡಕ್ಕೆ.
ಅಮ್ಮ (ಮಾರ್ನೇ ದಿವಸ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ): ರಾಜು, ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಲೇಟ್ ಆಯ್ತು. ಎದ್ದೇಳೋ.
ರಾಜು: ಅಮ್ಮ, ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಿದೆ. ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗಲ್ಲ. ಹೊರ್ಗ್ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ನೆಗಡಿ-ಜ್ವರ ಬಂದ್ರೆ? ಹುಷಾರ್ ತಪ್ಪಿದ್ರೆ?!
*ತಲ್ಪ್ರತಿಷ್ಠೆ

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BCC : ಕಸದ್ ತೊಟ್ಟಿ or email related… depends which model you are.

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Milky way: ಹಾಲು ಚೆಲ್ಲಿಹೋದಾಗ, ಹರಿದು ಹೋಗುವ ದಾರಿ

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Odometer: A meter that runs… ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಓಡೋ ಮೀಟರ್, ಇನ್ನೇನು?!

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ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ, ಎಷ್ಟು ತಲೆ ಕೆರ್ಕೊಂಡ್ರೂ ಸರಿಯಾದ idea ಬರಲ್ಲ. ಆಗೇನು ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಕು? start from scratch, once again.

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ಕೂಟು, ಗೊಜ್ಜು, ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಹುಳಿ ಇವೆಲ್ಲಕ್ಕಿಂಥ ಸಿಂಪಲ್ ಆಗಿರೋ ಸಾರು ಪವರ್ ಫುಲ್ಲು. ಯಾಕೆ ಅಂತೀರಾ? ಸಾರು ಒಂದಕ್ಕೆ ಒಂದು department ಇರೋದು. ಅದೇ ‘ಸಾರಿಗೆ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆ’.

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Same-sects marriage has been prevalent in India for ages.

Old words with new meanings

November 19, 2012

‘Sim’ was a word that mother knew and used often. I only followed her instruction when she would say from the verandah (while talking to our neighbour) – keep the milk for heating…not HIGH, just SIM. Today, I don’t hear anyone say this. The only SIM that people of today know is the Mobile SIM. Today the word HIGH means one who is HIGH on drugs.

A ‘metro’ was always a metropolitan city, made popular by Doordarshan’s news readers (The temperatures in the four metros are…). Now when we hear someone say Metro, we need to know if it is the Metro cash and carry or Namma Metro, or one of the four metros!

‘Flex’ is another word that you hear so much. Earlier, those who would exercise would flex their muscles. Today, flex more often than not means the material for printing anything and everything – from the traffic rules (with pictures of 3 ants or Sri Veerendra Hegde or Rahul Dravid), to announcing the birthday of Karave Narayana Gowdaru or informing us near Devegowda petrol bunk that the current CM is not Yeddy or his buddy, but it is Jaggi on whom the rivals are waiting to close the shutter…to letting us know that fruit seller Mariyanna or little Selvaganesh or groundnut seller Kempamma are no more.

Every word has a variety of connotations which can be added to, removed or altered over time. Sometimes this occurs to the extent that words from one point in time have very different meanings in relation to another time. A good example of a recent semantic change is of the word mouse; with the advent of computer technology, the word for the animal has been used to refer to the device.

Nowadays, when you say even the most common or innocuous word or phrase, it would have some new definition that was apparently written yesterday because you never heard it before. One example that comes to mind is the word “sick” which apparently now is being used to indicate something “cool” or “exciting” or “awesome.” This usage almost literally makes me sick. Sick means sick, and this “new” definition is just beyond ridiculous.

Apple was just a fruit till a few years ago. Now when a kid asks “do you have an apple at home?” you have to think which apple is this little know-all devil asking and then say the answer. Then, an apple a day kept the doctors away. Now an apple a day keeps the Mac guys happy.

Inside school, Galaxy was a system of millions or billions of stars, together with gas and dust, held together by gravitational attraction – the one which the solar system is a part; the Milky Way. Outside school, it meant the posh theatre on Residency road. Today, Galaxy is neither of the two. It primarily means a mobile.

Ditto with Blackberry. The fruit has been overshadowed by its mobile namesake!

WORD meant a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing. Today it means MS Word (which is a proprietary word processor), a file format. EXCEL, which earlier meant to shine, is today a commercial spreadsheet application, and a file format.

Stumble was when someone walked unsteadily or a misstep.  Now it means the personal recommendation engine StumbleUpon.

In mathematics, FB series (Fourier–Bessel series) is a particular kind of generalized Fourier series (an infinite series expansion on a finite interval) based on Bessel functions. Need I say what FB means today?

Ever since I can remember, the word ‘Majestic’ for me means Cinema halls, Central Bus stand and Bangalore Railway Station! I need to be told it also means royal and regal!

‘Bandwidth’ was a data transmission rate; the maximum amount of information that can be transmitted along a channel. Now it is the capacity of a person to handle tasks or issues, either actual or emotional.

‘Go green’ was earlier meant to convey envy. Today anyone going green is good for the environment, as it means environmentally friendly. As the need for recycling has developed, ‘green’ has become not only a word to describe colour, but to describe a person who is doing their bit for the environment.

Writers in the previous century used the word ‘gay’ in a carefree way to express happiness (as in gay abandon). Now they have abandoned the usage. The meaning of ‘gay’ has changed over the years from happy to homosexual.

Most of us use the word ‘Google’, the internet search technology company and platform, instead of ‘Search’ – to search the internet for information.

Outlook meant viewpoint. Today, it more often than not means either the software product from Microsoft or the weekly english newsmagazine.

Space only meant the outer space. Today, even the Ajji at the temple knows how much space her Galaxy has for storing pictures and music!

The word ‘At’ was used as a function word to indicate presence or occurrence in, on, or near. Now most of us write the symbol @ instead of the whole word. Any e-mail address is incomplete / incorrect without the symbol.

Stream meant a body of water with a current that’s confined within a bed. And now, it is used to mean a constantly flowing body of updates, photos, images, and other content on social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Some of the text msgs hv riDQlous sentences with lotsa acronyms. LOL! Some acronyms hv multiple mngs for specific trgt audience. POS is a commonly used acronym. If you are a teenager, it can mean Parents Over Shoulder. For a sales person, it means Point of Sale. For a person into linguistics, it is Part of Speech. For the guy interested in visiting the Carribbean, it is Port of Spain.

A3 is a page size for the designers and printers. For teenagers, it means Anywhere, Any time, Any place.

We knew that PTO meant Page Turn Over or Please Turn Over. It also fitted perfectly into Kannada – Puta thirugisi odhi! Now, those who chat, use it to mean Pass This On!

I feel World Taekwondo Federation, Wikileaks Task Force, Western Task Force, Williamstown Theatre Festival and even the World Trade Fair face a common problem – they must be feeling embarassed to use the abbreviated form (WTF). Even if they use the abbrv. form, the person reading might read it by default as What the….!

ATM for some of us means Automated Teller Machine (only a place where we can get cash). For the SMS generation, it also means At the moment.

VAT today is Value Added Tax. Earlier it meant a bottle of Vat 69 whisky.

For us, Hand means hand. For teens, it is Have a nice day! I knew SMH as Kirmani’s initials. But I got to know it also means Shaking my head! (what you are doing now!)

Coming back to the words,’ Cool’ once only meant something somewhat cold. Now, anyone who doesn’t crib or scold, and agrees to any nonsense happening around him/her, is cool! Or when a teenager understands something as basic a sentence as: Today is Sunday, his/her reaction can be ‘Cool!’ I feel they say it when the situation is in their favour.

At the same time, ‘Hot’ once only meant something somewhat hot. Today you use the word to describe the ladies who dance for the item songs in all woods (holly, bolly, kolly, tolly, molly, sandal…) (someone who is physically attractive). It shows that language is changing because the views on sexuality and expression is becoming more open and as opposed to years ago it is not as sinful to talk about and express.

Cell can mean either a biological unit of living organism, or the ‘box’ where a column and a row intersect, in a spreadsheet, or a prison or a cellphone.

‘Link’ always meant a relationship between two things or situations, esp. where one thing affects the other. Today, a link is more often than not an address to a particular website.

Spam in the olden days meant food. Now it means junk email.

‘Plus One’ was what I studied after 10th standard. Now, it is used to mean a new initiative that allows anyone searching Google to publicly endorse web results they like. It’s a kind of digital shorthand for a thumbs-up.

We don’t bother about a person’s ‘memory’. We only want to know the computer’s ‘memory’, made up of chips that temporarily hold data or instructions in a computer.

Mouse was always a famous and important cartoon character in either Tom & Jerry or Mickey & Donald series. Now, we can’t think anything else other than the small input device we work with to operate our computer.

Surf was only a washing powder, which the sensible, value-conscious housewife ‘Lalitaji’ asked us to buy. Today, Surf in the Internet parlance means ‘surf’ or browse the Internet.

A ‘bridge’ was built normally over a water-body to enable traffic across, or it was a game. Interestingly in network terminology, a bridge is a device which connects multiple network segments at the innermost data layers. And for the graphic designers, bridge usually means Adobe Bridge.

Yahoo was what Shammi Kapoor shouted in the song. For the current generation (don’t know if it is the X, Y or Z gen that is running now), Yahoo  is a famous web portal.

A’ tag’ that normally labels instructions or the price of items has also entered the tech-world. It is now used by web-developers to create itemised contents for the web-pages with relevant key-words that help search engines like Google or Bing to bring out the relevant pages when these key-words are searched for.

Server was usually in volleyball / tennis,or in the hotels. Now it is related to technology. Post was part of a fence or what the postman delivered. Today, post needs no explanation.

Thread used to be a piece of string. Again no explanation needed for the current use. Text was simply letters typed out. Now it means a text message.

Biological virus cause illness to living beings, while rogue software ‘virus’ infect and take down even powerful computers that are not adequately protected. Similarly a ‘bug’ is an insect in the real world while it means an error in software programming parlance or a technical flaw in a hardware solution.

Last but not the least, the first 3 letters of my name, RAM, doubles up as ‘Random Access Memory’ in the digital realms. When someone asks me : How much ram is required for windows 7 64 bit? I say: Till I am there, one will do!

As time moves on we come across new terms and old words with new meanings and learn to adapt to their new meaning by repeated use. It only takes a good weather day to sit back relaxed and think retrospectively as to how these common words once meant something so simple in our lives, have been very much complicated by technology. Until we meet again, boot your windows, run your mouse and keep surfing the web.

Now it’s your turn. What others might you add? Feel free to mention your list in the comments section!