Posts Tagged ‘India’

What is TMC?

October 3, 2016

rwb-tmc

Also see:

Kaveri / Cauvery Water Dispute parody

A to Z of Cauvery Dispute

Amma parody 1

William Tell appears in Cauvery Riots cartoon

WTF: Water Turns Fire (Cauvery Water Dispute)

Cauvery Water Dispute: Cartoon

Random Jottings on Facebook – 7

September 6, 2016

ಡಿಯರ್ ಆರ್-ಜೇಸ್,
ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಿವಸ ಈ ಕೆಳಗಿನ ಹಾಡುಗಳನ್ನು ಪ್ಲೇ ಮಾಡದಿದ್ದರೆ ಒಳ್ಳೇದು.
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನೀನು ನಮಗಾಗಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ಎಂದರೆ ಏನೋ ಹರುಷವು
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ನೋಡಿದರೆ
• ನಾ ಅಮ್ಮ ಎಂದಾಗ ಏನೋ ಸಂತೋಷವು
• ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಮ್ಮ ಅನ್ನೋ ಮುತ್ತು ಬಂತು ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ಎದೆಯಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿನ್ನ ತೋಳಿನಲ್ಲಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಾನು ದೇವರಾಣೆ
• ಗುಮ್ಮನ ಕರೆಯದಿರೆ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಗಳಲ್ಲಿ
• ಅಮ್ಮ ಅಮ್ಮ ಐ ಲವ್ ಯು
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಹಿತೈಷಿ

***

ಭಾರತ ಬಂದು, ಕರ್ನಾಟಕ ಬಂದು, ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು ಬಂದು, airportಇಂದ ಮನೇಗೆ ಬರ್ತಾ pollution, ಧೂಳು ಹೊಗೆ ನೋಡಿ ಬಾಯಿ ಬಂದು.

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ಮನೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಊಟ-ತಿಂಡಿ ಮಾಡೋವಾಗ ತಾಯಿಯನ್ನ ಕರೆದು “ನೀರು” ಅಂತ ಕೇಳುವವರಿಗೆ ಎಚ್ಚರಿಕೆ!
“ಅಮ್ಮಾ! ನೀರು ಬೇಕು” ಅಂತಾ ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಕೇಳೋ ಹಾಗೆ ಕೂಗಿದ್ರೆ ಸಾಲದು… ’ಅಮ್ಮಾ’ಗೆ ಕೇಳಿಸಬೇಕು, ಮುಖ್ಯವಾಗಿ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಬೇಕು – ‘ನಮಗೇ’ ನೀರು ಬೇಕು ಅಂತ!

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ಮಹಾ ತಾಯೆ! ಕಾವೇರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾವು, ಬಿಸ್ಲೇರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಬಿಸಿ… ಒಟ್ಟಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಕೃಷ್ಣ ಕೃಷ್ಣ!!! ನೀರು ತಣ್ಣಗಿಲ್ಲ, ಕುದೀತಿದೆ!

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ATM ಒಳಗೆ ಕಾಲಿಟ್ಟರೆ ಸಾಕು, ಎಲ್ಲರೂ artist ಆಗಿಬಿಡ್ತಾರೆ. ಯಾಕೆ, ನನ್ನ ಮಾತಲ್ಲಿ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲವಾ? ಬೇಕಾದರೆ ನೋಡಿ, ಯಾರಾದರೂ ATM ಒಳಗೆ ಕಾಲಿಟ್ಟ ಒಡನೆ Draw ಮಾಡ್ತಾರೆ.

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HILLARY+U.S.= HILARIOUS

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ಭಾರತದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವಾರು ಶ್ರೀ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರಗಳಿವೆ.
ಭಾರತದ ಹೊರಗಿರುವ ಏಕೈಕ ಶ್ರೀ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರ: ಶ್ರೀ ಲಂಕಾ.
ಬೈ ದಿ ಬೈ, ನಮ್ಮನೇ ಕೂಡ ಶ್ರೀ ಕ್ಷೇತ್ರ!
{ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ವಿಷಯ. ನಮ್ಮನೆ ಕುಕ್ಕೇ ಶ್ರೀ!}

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ಒಂದ್ ಥರಾ ಲೆಕ್ಕ ಹಾಕಿದ್ರೆ:
ಕನ್ನಡಕ್ಕೆ 29-11-1982 ಹೇಗೋ ಹಿಂದೀಗೆ 15-03-1993.

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What are Concrete numbers?
The number of times you eat Uppitt.

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We like to be rated as adults. But we are adulterated. Mostly.

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ಆರೆಸ್ಸೆಸ್ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ವಾರ್ಮ್ ಬ್ಲಡಡ್ ಅಂತಾ ಆಗಿಹೋಗಿದೆ. ಯಾಕೆ?
Because ಅವರದ್ದು ಶಾಖಾ ಹೆಚ್ಚು.

***

ET in English was released in 1982.
16 years earlier, ET* in Kannada was released in 1966.
PK in Hindi was released in 2014.
47 years earlier, PK** in Kannada was released in 1967.
First James Bond film Dr. No was released in 1962.
Kannada’s first Bond film was released in 1968. Our speciality is:
James Bond = JB
Jedara Bale = JB
*ET = Emme Thammanna
** PK = Parvathi Kalyana
[Jwarada Side Effects]

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When the race started, Abbey D’Agostino was running to win the medal. But within minutes, there was a halo” over her head!
The term “Olympic spirit” is being heard since yesterday.
What is it? The Agence France-Presse wrote: “True Olympic spirit is often found away from gold medallists with their agents and sponsorship deals — it is found in its purest sense in those that come last.
I remembered my Ajji because she echoed that spirit every time she won a game of ‘Chouka-Bhaara’. When I felt sad that I had lost, she would say: “ಸೋತೋರೇ ಒಳ್ಳೆಯೋರು!”
What a way to console! (hearing those words, i felt a halo appeared over my head!)

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Dear BYJU’s,
Pythagoras theorem has been learnt. Ready for the next lesson.🙂

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ತಂದೆ ನಿರಕ್ಷರ ಕುಕ್ಷಿ. ಮಗ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಓದಲಿ ಅಂತ ಆಸೆ. ಆದ್ರೆ ಮಗನಿಗೆ ಓದಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಆಸಕ್ತಿ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಪರೀಕ್ಷೆ ರಿಸಳ್ಟ್ ಬಂತು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಮಗ ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮಾರ್ಕ್ಸ್ ತಗಂಡೆ?
ಮಗ: ಡಾಕ್ಟ್ರು ಮಗ ಪೇಲು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೌದಾ..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು?
ಮಗ: ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರ್ ಮಗ ಪೇಲು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟೋ?
ಮಗ: ಹೋಟ್ಲು ಮ್ಯಾನೇಜರ್ ಮಗಾನೂ ಪೇಲು.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ನಿಂದ್ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ, ಬೇರೇಯವ್ರದ್ ಯಾಕ್ಲಾ ಯೋಳ್ತಿದೀ? ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು?
ಮಗ: ಆ ಆರ್ಕಿಟೆಕ್ಟ್ ಮಗಾ, ಮನೆ ಓನರ್ ಮಗ, ಕಂಟ್ರಾಕ್ಟ್ರು ಮಗ ಎಲ್ರೂ ಪೇಲ್.
ಅಪ್ಪ: ಲೋ..ಬಡ್ಡಿ ಮಗ್ನೆ, ಅವ್ರದ್ ನೆಗೆದ್ ಬಿದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೇನು..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು ಬಂತ್ ಯೋಳ್ಲಾ?
ಮಗ: ಅಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡ್ ಮನ್ಷ್ರ್ ಮಕ್ಳೇ ಪೇಲು. ನೀನೇನ್ ಐಯ್ಯೇಸ್ಸಾ? ನಿನ್ ಮಗಾನೂ ಪೇಲೇ.
***
ಈಗ ಈ ಸೀನಲ್ಲಿ* ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಚೇಂಜ್.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮೆಡಲ್ ಗೆದ್ದ್ಯೋ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಭಾರತಕ್ಕೇನೂ ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೌದಾ..ನೀನ್ ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮೆಡಲ್ ಗೆದ್ದೆ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಶ್ರೀ ಲಂಕಾಗೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಹೋಗ್ಲಿ.. ನೀನ್ ಎಷ್ಟ್ ಮೆಡಲ್ ಗೆದ್ದೆ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಪಾಕಿಸ್ತಾನಕ್ಕೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ನಿಂದ್ ಕೇಳಿದ್ರೆ, ಬೇರೇಯವ್ರದ್ ಯಾಕ್ಲಾ ಯೋಳ್ತಿದೀ? ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಆ ನೇಪಾಳ, ಮ್ಯಾನ್ಮಾರ್, ಭೂಟಾನ್ ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್ ಅಪ್ಪ: ಲೋ..ಬಡ್ಡಿ ಮಗ್ನೆ, ಅವ್ರದ್ ನೆಗೆದ್ ಬಿದ್ರೆ ನಂಗೇನು..ನಿಂಗೆಷ್ಟು ಬಂತ್ ಯೋಳ್ಲಾ?
ಮಾಲ್ಡೀವ್ಸ್: ಅಷ್ಟ್ ದೊಡ್ಡ್ ದೇಶ್ದೋರೆ ಗೆಲ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನಿನ್ ಮಗ ಏನು ಮಹಾ ಸೈಜ಼ು? ಅವ್ನಿಗೂ ಏನು ಬರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ.
*ಈ ಜೋಕು ಈ ಕ್ಷಣದವರೆಗೂ ಮಾತ್ರ ಪ್ರಸ್ತುತ. ಮುಂದಿನ ಕಥೆ ಬಲ್ಲವರಾರು!

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’ಪಡುವಾರಹಳ್ಳಿ ಪಾಂಡವರು’ ಚಿತ್ರದಲ್ಲಿ ಇವರ ಎರಡು ಕವನಗಳನ್ನು ಬಳಸಲಾಗಿದೆ. ಈ ಕವಿಯ ಹೆಸರನ್ನು ಸ್ಪೆಲಿಂಗ್ ಮಿಸ್ಟೇಕ್ ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ಕರೆಕ್ಟಾಗಿ ’ಕೈಯ್ಯರ’ ಬರೆದ್ರೆ – ಔಟಾಫ್ ಔಟ್!

***

When power goes, we usually check if there is power in the neighbour’s house. If there is no power there, we cross-check if the power is gone in the whole street. Usually one house will have a UPS. So we don’t bother about him. Hardly anyone bothers to complain to Bescom.
Same way, India and its neighbours Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh, Myanmar and Bhutan have all won no medals (so far). Forget China – they’re like that house with the UPS. And none of us bother to complain to the IOA.

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LhGl to glOz – 70 years
To get this, please type 1947 and 2016 on a calculator and turn it around.

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Deepa Karmakar = PRODUNOVA
We are PROUD of you Deepa, we share your ನೋವ.

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ವರ್ಷಕ್ಕೆ ಒಂದ್ ದಿವಸ ದೇಶದ ಧ್ವಜ ಹಾರಿಸ್ತೀವಿ. ಉಳಿದ ಮುನ್ನೂರರವತ್ತೈದ್ ದಿವಸ ನಮ್ ನಮ್ ಧ್ವಜ ಹಾರಿಸ್ಕೊಳ್ತೀವಿ.

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ಮನೆದೇವರು ನರಸಿಂಹ. ಮಗ-ಸೊಸೆ ಇಬ್ಬರು ಡಾಕ್ಟ್ರು. ಅನುಕೂಲಸ್ತರು. ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಶುರು ಮಾಡಿದರು. ಮನೆದೇವರ ಹೆಸರೂ ಇಟ್ಟಂಗ್ ಆಗಬೇಕು, ಆಸ್ಪತ್ರೆ ಅಂತಲೂ ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಬೇಕು.
ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಏನು ಹೆಸರಿಟ್ಟ್ರು?
ನರಸಿಂಗ್ ಹೋಮ್.

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ಝಂಡಾ ಹಾರಿಸೋದೇ ಇಂದಿನ agenda.

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Periodic Function: ಮದುವೆ, ಮುಂಜಿ, ತಿಥಿ… ಹೀಗೆ ಹಲವಾರು functions held periodically.

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Pill: Taken when we’re ill.

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Sublime: When the vehicle tyres get to taste Nimboo juice during Ayudha Pooje.

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Resistance Training: Refusal to go to the gym

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Aeroplane: Airಅಲ್ಲಿ ಹಾರಲು ನಾವು ಏರೋ ವಾಹನ.

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ಅಪ್ಪ: ಇಷ್ಟ್ ಹೊತ್ತ್ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು ಈ ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಕೇಳ್ ಆ ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಬಿಡು ಅಂತಲ್ಲ. ಗೊತ್ತಾಯ್ತಾ?
ಮಗ: (on the sofa-ಕಾಲ್ ಮೇಲ್ ಕಾಲ್-fiddling with mobile)
ಅಮ್ಮ: ರೀ, ಮೊದ್ಲು “ಈ” ಕಿವೀಗೇ ಹೋಗಿಲ್ಲ… ಇನ್ನೇನ್ ಆ ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಬಿಡೋದು! ಕಿವೀಲ್ ಇಯರ್ ಫೋನ್ ಇದ್ದಾಗ ಅವ್ನನ್ ಬೈ ಬೇಡಿ ಅಂತಾ ಹೇಳಿಲ್ವಾ?

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Hypertext: Those who text excessively.

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ಒಲಂಪಿಕ್ಸ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ವಾಕಿಂಗ್ ರೇಸ್ ಕೂಡ ಇದೆ. ಭಾಗವಹಿಸೋರಿಗೆ ಆಲ್ ದಿ ಬೆಸ್ಟ್! ಆದ್ರೆ ನನ್ಗೊಂದ್ ಅನುಮಾನ: ಸ್ಪರ್ಧಿಗಳಿಗೆ ನೆಗಡಿ ಇದ್ದರೆ disqualify ಆಗ್ತಾರಾ ಅಂತ!
Because if your nose is running, you can’t be walking.

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YOLO: Depending on the situation, it can either mean –
Seven or Say.
Eg: ಎಷ್ಟು ಟೇಮು ಯೋಳೋ?
ಯೋಳೋ ಯೆಂಟೋ ಆಗದೆ ಕಣ್ಲ.

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ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ ಕಚಗುಳಿ ತಡೆಯೋಕ್ಕೇ ಆಗಲ್ಲ. ಬಹಳ ನಗ್ತಾರೆ. ಅಂಥವರಿಗೆ ಕಚಗುಳಿ ಕೊಡಕ್ಕೆ ನಾವು ಎದ್ದರೆ? ಕಚಗುಳಿ ಅಂದ ಕೂಡಲೆ ಅವರು 1852 ಮೀಟರ್ (2025 ಯಾರ್ಡ್ಸ್) ದೂರ ಓಡಿದಾಗ, it becomes nautical mile.

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Was chatting with the accounts person and asked him if he followed the Olympics. To my surprise, he said “Yes”. And guess his favourite event? Vault.

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Radium Americium Krypton Iodine Sulphur Hydrogen Sodium =
Ra Am Kr I S H Na
Elements in your name?

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ಟೆರರಿಸ್ಟ್ ಏನು ಡೊನೇಟ್ ಮಾಡ್ಬೋದು?
ಆರ್ ಗನ್.

***

ಮಹಾತ್ಮರ ಶಾಪಕ್ಕೆ ಜಯ-ವಿಜಯರು ಗುರಿಯಾಗಿದ್ದಾರೆ. ನಾರಾಯಣ ಪ್ರತ್ಯಕ್ಷನಾಗಿ ಕೇಳುತ್ತಾನೆ:
ಜಯ-ವಿಜಯರೇ, ತಪ್ಪು ಮಾಡಿದವರು ಶಿಕ್ಷೆ ಅನುಭವಿಸಲೇ ಬೇಕು. ಹೇಳಿ, ಭೂಲೋಕದಲ್ಲಿ ನನಗೆ ಶತೃಗಳಾಗಿ ಮೂರು ಜನ್ಮಗಳುದ್ದಕ್ಕೂ ಸಮಸ್ತ ಮಾನವಕುಲಕ್ಕೆ candy crush request ಕಳುಹಿಸಿ ನಂತರ ನನ್ನ ಸನ್ನಿಧಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತೀರೋ? ಇಲ್ಲ ಮಿತ್ರರಾಗಿ ಏಳು ಜನ್ಮಗಳನ್ನೆತ್ತಿ ನಂತರ ನನ್ನ ಸನ್ನಿಧಿಗೆ ಬರುತ್ತೀರೋ?
ಜಯ-ವಿಜಯರು: ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಕಾಲ ನಿನ್ನ ಸನ್ನಿಧಿಯನ್ನು ಬಿಟ್ಟು, ಇರಲಾರೆವು ಪ್ರಭು! ಶತೃಗಳಾದರೂ ಚಿಂತೆಯಿಲ್ಲ, ಕ್ಯಾಂಡಿ ಕ್ರಷ್ ರಿಕ್ವೆಸ್ಟೇ ಸಾಕು!
ಹೀಗಾಗುರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯವೇ?!
Candy Crush Request ಎಂಬ ಶಾಪ

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ಕಣ್ಣು ಕೆಂಪಗೆ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಳ್ಳೋದು ಬೇರೆ, ಕಣ್ಣು red ಆಗೋದು ಬೇರೆ.

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A miracle took place in front of my eyes today morning: A girl on a Scooty had the Right indicator ON, lifted the Right hand a bit before turning, and REALLY made a RIGHT turn!

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ದೇವರು ಹೆಂಗಸರಿಗೆ ಬೇಗ ಒಲಿಯೋದು. ಯಾಕೆ? ದೇವರ ಸಾಕ್ಷಾತ್ಕಾರವಾಗಲು ಇರುವ ಮಾರ್ಗಗಳನ್ನೇ ಅವರ ಹೆಸರಾಗಿಟ್ಟುಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ!
ಪ್ರಾರ್ಥನಾ, ಅರ್ಚನಾ, ಪೂಜಾ, ದೀಕ್ಷಾ, ಭಕ್ತಿ, ಶ್ರದ್ಧಾ, ಸಾಧನಾ, ಆರತಿ, ತಪಸ್ಯಾ, ವಿದ್ಯಾ, ತಾಪಸಿ, ಶಾಂತಿ, ಸಹನಾ…

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ನನ್ನ ಮಗ ಈಗ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದು (ಗೆಲಿಲಿಯೋ ಪಾಠ ಓದುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾಗ):
ಗೆಲಿಲಿಯೋ ಯಾವತ್ತೂ ಆಕಾಶ ನೋಡ್ತಾನ್ಯೇ ಹೊರತು ಭೂಮಿ ನೋಡಲ್ಲ!
#KasturiNivasa

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Hyperbola : Talking too much

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What are even and odd numbers?
Ask a Delhiite. What do I know.

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Maryland: India, of course!
Thailand: Namma Karnataka!

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What are Real Numbers?
Numbers in Upendra’s Age, Phone no., Address, Vehicle regn. no., Aadhar Card, Pan Card etc.

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What are negative numbers?
Numbers <35

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Q. What are Roman Numbers?
Imagine making Iyengar puliogare using chinese ingredients!
Same way, Numbers written without using any numbers but English alphabet.

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Q. What are Roman Numbers?
Imagine making Iyengar puliogare using chinese ingredients!
Same way, Numbers written without using any numbers but English alphabet.

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Q. What are Whole numbers?
A. 4, 6, 8, 9, 0

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Cinders: ಮುಖ ಸಿಂಡರಿಸಿದಾಗ ಕಾಣುವ ಗೆರೆಗಳು

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magine a foreigner joining a class here which has 118 kids. Suppose 82 of these kids are named: Kallesha, Mallesha, Lakshmisha, Rakesha, Rajesha, Somesha, Harisha, Nagesha, Gowrisha, Madesha, Ganesha, Veeresha, Neelesha, Pranesha, Gyanesha, Anisha, Abhilasha, Manjusha, Amisha, Anusha, Shrisha, Usha, Nirosha, Manisha, Paresha, Ramesha, Paramesha, Natesha, Shailesha, Umesha, Mahesha, Kaatesha, Lokesha and so on.
That is like almost 70% of the 118 kids names are rhyming.
Imagine the foreigner trying to remember his classmates’ names! I think that is how kids feel when they read the names of the elements in the Periodic Table, with so many names ending with IUM.

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Escalator: Transition ಮೆಟ್ಟಲ್

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Allow: Used as a greeting while answering the telephone

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ಸದ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ, ನನ್ನ ಸುಪುತ್ರ ಮತ್ತು ನಮ್ ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟರ್ಸ್ ಇಬ್ಬರದ್ದು ಒಂದೇ ಕಥೆ: ಟೆಸ್ಟು-ಟೆಸ್ಟು-ಟೆಸ್ಟು

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ಹೆಂಗಾಗ್ಬಿಟೀದೀವಿ ಅಂದ್ರೆ… ಶೆಲ್ಫಿಂದ ಹಳೇ ಫೋಟೋ ಆಲ್ಬಂ ನೋಡಕ್ಕೇ ಅಂತಾ ತೆಗೆದ್ರೆ, ಯಾಕ್ ಯಾವ್ ಫೋಟೋನೂ ಪ್ಲೇ ಆಗ್ತಿಲ್ವಲ್ಲಾಂತನ್ಸತ್ತೆ!

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Bheemana Amavasye: Chota Bheem’s birthday

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One of my Tamilian friend’s father was leaving to the US wearing a US Polo shirt. I told him it was a good choice to wear that shirt. Because ‘US Polo’ in Tamil means “Let’s go to US”.

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Radioactivity: RJ @ work

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ಇನ್ನೂ ಹುಟ್ಟಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ ಪೋಲಿ ಆಗೋದು ಯಾರು: ಪೋಲಿಷ್.

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Which is an atheist’s favourite movie?
GODZ ILLA.

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ಅಮ್ಮ (ಮಗನ್ನ ಕ್ರಿಕೆಟ್ ಆಡಕ್ಕೆ ಫ್ರೆಂಡ್ಸ್ ಬಂದ್ ಕರ್ದಾಗ): ರಾಜು, ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಿದೆ. ಹೊರ್ಗ್ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ನೆಗಡಿ-ಜ್ವರ ಬಂದ್ರೆ? ಹುಷಾರ್ ತಪ್ಪಿದ್ರೆ? ಹೋಗ್ಬೇಡಾ ಆಡಕ್ಕೆ.
ಅಮ್ಮ (ಮಾರ್ನೇ ದಿವಸ ಬೆಳಿಗ್ಗೆ): ರಾಜು, ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಲೇಟ್ ಆಯ್ತು. ಎದ್ದೇಳೋ.
ರಾಜು: ಅಮ್ಮ, ಮಳೆ ಬರ್ತಿದೆ. ಸ್ಕೂಲ್ ಗೆ ಹೋಗಲ್ಲ. ಹೊರ್ಗ್ ಹೋದ್ರೆ ನೆಗಡಿ-ಜ್ವರ ಬಂದ್ರೆ? ಹುಷಾರ್ ತಪ್ಪಿದ್ರೆ?!
*ತಲ್ಪ್ರತಿಷ್ಠೆ

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BCC : ಕಸದ್ ತೊಟ್ಟಿ or email related… depends which model you are.

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Milky way: ಹಾಲು ಚೆಲ್ಲಿಹೋದಾಗ, ಹರಿದು ಹೋಗುವ ದಾರಿ

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Odometer: A meter that runs… ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಓಡೋ ಮೀಟರ್, ಇನ್ನೇನು?!

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ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ, ಎಷ್ಟು ತಲೆ ಕೆರ್ಕೊಂಡ್ರೂ ಸರಿಯಾದ idea ಬರಲ್ಲ. ಆಗೇನು ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಕು? start from scratch, once again.

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ಕೂಟು, ಗೊಜ್ಜು, ಮಜ್ಜಿಗೆ ಹುಳಿ ಇವೆಲ್ಲಕ್ಕಿಂಥ ಸಿಂಪಲ್ ಆಗಿರೋ ಸಾರು ಪವರ್ ಫುಲ್ಲು. ಯಾಕೆ ಅಂತೀರಾ? ಸಾರು ಒಂದಕ್ಕೆ ಒಂದು department ಇರೋದು. ಅದೇ ‘ಸಾರಿಗೆ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆ’.

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Same-sects marriage has been prevalent in India for ages.

Begging in Railway Station – Cartoon

January 14, 2013

rwbplatform140113

Cartoon: RK

Also visit the Cartoon page on RwB.

My Dear Kuttichathan 3D!

January 5, 2013

rwb_kuttichathan_collage_05

 

Design: RK Bellur / RwB

 

My Dear Kuttichathan!! A favourite movie of mine. Watched it with my parents in Ernakulam when it was released in 1984. What a thrilling experience to wear those goggles! Still get nightmares when I see that Mantravaadi!

My Dear Kuttichathan 3D

What do you see?

January 4, 2013

rwbbharatindia040113

PILLARI GEETHE PARODY by Ramakrishna Bellur Shivaram

August 30, 2012

[Apologies for the video quality – incidentally this is the first ever video to be posted on RwB]

Parody composed and sung by: ramakrishna bellur shivaram

(lambodara)
india is one nation full of sensation
where ever you see there is commotion

(sri gananatha)
enter any place there is politics
talk to anyone & you will see gimmicks

(siddha charana)
currently there is lot of inflation
rise in prices is the cause of frustration

(sakala vidya)
backward classes want lot of reservation
ladies only want woman’s liberation

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(kundagaura)
cricket is our common religion
people following it make a huge legion

(mandara)
people are crazy about filmstars
they sit on the tree to see a superstar

(hemakuta)
our prime minister is a mute puppet
only if madam says he will read this couplet

(chandamama)
people are busy buying property
firstly they must learn to make a proper tea

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(kereya neeranu)
children daily carry heavy bags to the school
some of them don’t study and think it is very cool

(hariya)
kids feel like watching CN-POGO and everything
but parents are strict and say NO to everything!

(sri purandara)
where ever you see there is lot of competition
only if you are lucky you will get recognition

(hariya)
passing an exam is just not the only thing
everyday life is where you must achieve something

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(padumanabha)
people are only bothered
about money today
honest people are becoming
extinct day-by-day

(viduravandhya)
we see a lot of jams
we read about only scams
if you see Twenty-20
its simply wham bam

(udadinivasa)
terrorism is becoming a common thing
just like hazare sitting and fasting

(yadukulottama)
be it the house or office or parliament
wherever you see woman is dominant

(vibhishana)
national security is posing a big threat
rise in the cyber crimes are posing a bigger threat

(shubhaprada)
but the common man is ignorant of all this
because he still believes ignorance is bliss

(abhinava)
those who heard this and also read it along
will have a great life from rk now its so long!

Engrave.in: Memories, etched forever

June 11, 2011

We see them everywhere – on the wall, on the shelf, on the desk, all across the city, on hoardings, at the road entrance where people are mourning someone’s death, on the mini screen with a series of visuals of the birthday kid, behind the chairman’s seat in his chamber, hung to a tree inside the temple, leaning against the electric pole, hung on a bare chested man at the traffic signal, inside the wallet, on your boss’ table… not to forget the albums with velvet covers in every home. Today you can expect any PC, laptop and mobile to be brimming with these. The Picasas, Flickrs and Photoblogs were all started to facilitate us to make a better use of this which is equivalent to a ‘k’ words.

Well, imagine a world without photos! In today’s age, we cannot. But long long ago, there was one . Since the last 100 years, photos have transformed from being a status symbol to a necessity.

Any place you go today first asks you 2 passport sized photos and only then, your name! Today, a mobile without a camera is like a girl lacking oomph. You can manage a wedding without a bridegroom (No, I am not talking about LGBT.) Remember so many movies where one of the guests marries the bride. But without a photographer – are you in your senses?

For a long time, humans have been recording history (hmm… Nala or Neela should have blogged about Ram Sethu). Jokes apart, in the puranas, we know that the Śrauta tradition was used very effectively for teaching and recording events. Other methods include cave drawings, etchings and engravings on wood,  stories with illustrations, manuscripts, paintings, sculptures, wall carvings, books, newspapers, online diaries, blogs, photographs…

I can already see a thousand images when I hear the last word PHOTOGRAPH – so you can imagine the power of an actual photograph! As a kid, I saw my father using Alpha Reflex camera, while my uncle in the US had a Polaroid camera for some time. I still cherish those pictures I took using my Kodak camera (a special gift indeed!) in the mid ’90s.

A world without photos would be impersonal, sad, colourless, lonely and depressing. The joy of holding a picture cannot be matched when one sees it online on the computer screen, mobile phone, digital camera or on the television – we have to agree that we have a soft corner for the hard copy print!

Today, it is not just photo prints, we are able to etch and engrave pictures on different materials to add that special touch. Technology can help us keep memories etched forever! Gone are the days when these were available only in the developed nations. Today, there are firms in India which are capable of catering to any specific demands and requirements when it comes to engraving.

One place I can recommend immediately is Engrave.in – which is your source for photo etching and personalized gifts. Engrave.in utilizes state-of-the-art laser engraving combined with a master craftsman’s eye for detail to produce top quality laser engraved products & gifts, perfect for any occasion.

Whatever your engraving needs, you can trust the quality of Engrave. Their engraving materials are suitable for both indoor and outdoor use. With several products in-stock, Engrave offers you a large choice of materials for the Plaques, Crystals and Wall hangings in their product catalogue – Wooden Plaques, LED Illuminated Acrylic Plaques, Brushed Aluminium Foils, 2D Engraved Crystals, 3D Engraving – Religious Idols, 3D Engraved Crystals and Wooden Wall Hangings.

It was strange how I got to know about Engrave – I received a congratulatory mail from them a few days ago. It read:

Was browsing through some art blogs and got your link. Congrats for turning 5! Read the post and could connect with your journey. Keep the posts coming.

A start-up and going to turn 1 pretty soon, Engrave.in sent me a Wooden plaque of my picture.It measures exactly 20cms wide and 14.5 cms high. It is a beautiful solid wooden piece 10mm thick, with a drilled hole at the back to fit the 6cm long brass easel.

Engrave.in handled the complete process in a very professional manner. They asked me to send my picture (their FAQs page is very informative and answers clearly most of your queries), and before processing the artwork, they mailed it to me for a preview.

I received the wooden plaque in a week’s time in a well packed carton. It was amazing to see the details in the engraving. I got the smell of fresh wood bringing nostalgic memories. The engraving is very close to the actual picture!


Clockwise from top left:
1. The original photograph. 2. The design before engraving. 3. The wooden plaque arrives. 4. Front view. 5. Side view. 6. Rear view (notice the easel. Engrave logo is at the bottom right.)

The amazing detail of the designs, coupled with beautiful and unusual materials makes these products memorable gifts and eye-catching marketing materials as well as powerful memorials.

It will be a lovely way to surprise your loved ones with a laser engraved personalized photo gift that is designed to last a lifetime. What more – Engrave.in are now offering Cash-on-Delivery at no extra charge!

Thanks to Engrave.in, memories needn’t disappear when they can be etched forever, shared and cherished so easily.

ENGRAVE.IN
(Mon-Sat 10am-6pm)

Mail Photos to:
Gratifi Ecommerce
B-236, Popular Center,
Shyamal Cross Road, Satellite,
Ahmedabad – 380015

Tel: +91.8128128223
Email: support [at] engrave [dot] in

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Video: The engraving process on a wooden plaque

Supreme Court stays Allahabad High Court verdict on Ayodhya

May 10, 2011


Cartoon: RK

Related Posts:

  1. ABCD of Mandir Masjid Issue

  2. Why is it called AYODHYA ISSUE?

  3. It pays to be a non-Hindu in Hindustan

Anna Hazare’s fight against Corruption

April 8, 2011

2011 Cricket World Cup Finals: Front pages of today’s newspapers (April, 03, 2011)

April 3, 2011


Design: RK
Click on the image for a larger view

FINALLY!

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HAPPY UGADI

May bevu and jaggery
bury life’s misery
And bring lots of
lovely things extraordinary

May bevu and jaggery
delete life’s erratic vagary
And ward off things fiery
only showing all things flowery

Enjoy a happy Ugadi
with sweet bevu and bitter jaggery
Eating a yummy holige on this day
is equal to winning a lottery

HAPPY UGADI TO ALL OF YOU.

– ‘English Hanigavana’ by yours truly

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Bevu-Bella significance: Jaggery increases haemoglobin in blood and provides additional energy for the body. Sugarcane, the raw material for producing jaggery, helps in having strong teeth and health gems. (More)