Thirty or Forty years ago, it was taken for granted that the father was the breadwinner and head of the family. Nowadays, there is far less rigid expectations of a father’s responsibilities – couples often work together, both in and outside the home, and they share responsibilites.
Not long ago, a typical mother’s warning to a child was: “Wait till your father gets home”, and that showed who was supposed to be responsible for discipline in a family. Today, there is a more positive approach to parenting in which either of the parent uses warmth, encouragement and praise to get good behaviour from the child.
We need to remember that for children, parents are the most important role models. They will be watching and copying their parents to learn how to behave. When they see the father or the mother behaving in a sensitive and respectful way, they’ll copy and understand this is how others should be treated.
It is almost two years since I became a father, and I can see to an extent the transformation within myself into a more sentimental and sensitive being. Ever since he has come into our lives, my son has reminded me and my wife that we are loved and needed.
The best thing about being a father started the day he was born. And I was fortunate to have seen him enter this world, which is rare in this part of the globe.
I consider it a blessing to spend each moment with my son. Watching him develop his personality provides lots of laughs and brings joy into our home. Watching his reactions to learning and seeing new things brings tremendous happiness to our life. The highlight of my day is hearing his little voice exclaiming “Appa!”
Spending time with my son has become my favourite pastime. It is a wonderful feeling to be with him, whether playing sports or just sitting in our balcony and watching a little dog on the street. The innocent joy on my son’s face when I play with him, sing for him his favourite song, narrate him his favourite stories or the excitement he shows when he sees a cow or a horse or a dog or some fishes near a mall up the road, are simply priceless experiences. The small moments of genuine connection of emotion cannot be described.
My son reminds me again and again that this world is full of wonders. For him, everything is new and everything must be explored with all his senses. And I am grateful and honoured to guide and encourage him as he sets out on this great journey of discovery that is life.
Experiencing the many moments when, without warning, I become completely overwhelmed by the happiness my son brings to my life, is simply great. These are moments that you don’t expect — when he’s sleeping in a contorted position, when he splashes water while giving him a bath, when he reveals his unique personality in a spontaneous comment, when he’s scared about seeing an elephant really close to him.
The great thing about being a dad is coming home after work, and seeing his face light up like you just gave him the best gift he could ever receive. (There are times when he makes me feel that he loves my Helmet more than me!) Hearing him say what he did the whole day brings so much contentment.
Before signing off, just want to say that I am not a perfect father, which is a statement that should be understood as a given for anyone in this profession. I cherish my son for the remarkable human being he is at the moment, and for everything he can become.
Happy Father’s Day!
Related links:
June 15, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Dear Bellur, apart from occasionally bordering on paranoia 😉 you and Mrs together are one of the most exemplary parents I’ve come across. This was a really beautiful post. Whenever I ‘get into the profession’ I will be looking at you as an inspiring source of inputs and advice.
Looking forward to more blog posts on parenting. Practical difficulties and how you coped with them (maybe even how you might do better now if you were in the same situation again) would be much appreciated.
Best wishes that you (and Mrs) and Narayan spend quality time celebrating together a wonderful father’s day – day after day after day after day………………
June 15, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Happy Fathers Day….. Nice Write Up…….. Hope it gets Published in Bangalore Mirror’s Blog Section….
June 15, 2007 at 11:56 pm
happy fathers day…
ur post has so much of honesty and love ..
June 16, 2007 at 12:12 am
Very nice RK…….wonderful post!!! Oh, and just imagine your son growing up and reading thro’ your blog and stumbling upon this…sweet!!!
June 16, 2007 at 4:38 am
Hi RK,
Really enjoyed that post. I always tell my kids that parenting is like a mirror – what you put into it is exactly what you get back.
Keep smiling
David
June 16, 2007 at 10:29 am
behind every happy child,
there are appa and amma!
what you bequeath your children
is your character.
Happy parenting.
June 16, 2007 at 10:41 am
I can say you are nearing perfection…after witnessing how you take care of litlle Narayan, I wish that every man on the brink of fatherhood emulate you atleast a little……
Happy Father’s Day. 🙂
June 16, 2007 at 4:18 pm
BR,
I could relate to every word that you wrote. Children have to be the most marvellous creatures ever. I remember a beautiful quote from Simone de Beavouir – “In a sense the mystery of incarnation is repeated in every woman. Every child is a God who becomes man”.
I make it a point to tell my two boys how wonderful they are and how much happiness they have brought into my life. We sometimes don’t do this enough.
I also remind myself that I don’t own them. That they will fly out one day. That I should love them enough to let them go.
Have you also noticed how much life slows down when you have children.
June 16, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Appa!!! I’ve just been touched by. These beautiful words define a perfect fatherhood.
June 17, 2007 at 7:41 am
Hi RK,
I am in the middle of two trips. Just hopped in to say hello. Gone thru all your posts. Liked your this post & the one on positive thinking most.
Happy Father’s Day to you & all the fathers.
Cheers !!
June 17, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Happy Pa’s day to all the Fathers out there… no I don’t mean the Christian ones… Lolllzzzz:)
Excellent article RK.
This is sheer poetry: “I cherish my son for the remarkable human being he is at the moment, and for everything he can become.”
June 17, 2007 at 7:37 pm
Very well written…
Relishing parenthood is a gift from God…
June 18, 2007 at 11:01 am
RK,
You have taken words out off my mouth!!! I too feel the same exact feelings only mine comes with some tears if not taken care of immideatly. The helmet portion is amazing!!
You have been able to express the views in such neat methods, nothing is left out right from the small dog on the street to that apeing of father.
3 cheers
mohan!
June 18, 2007 at 1:36 pm
That was really a heartwarming post. I’m the mom of a 2-year old, and reading this was a wonderful feeling!
Happy Father’s day! (I am a day late, but that does not matter, does it? :))
June 18, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Narayana is a cute kid no doubt.
Bellur, I think you need to start a parenting section separately 🙂 nice post.
June 19, 2007 at 5:36 pm
aww… that was really touching post bellur 🙂 although i still have to experience the joy of parenting i can very well understand what u were feeling while writing this 🙂
LOL @times when he makes me feel that he loves my Helmet more than me!
hope u had gr8 faher’s day although everyday with kids is a father’s/mother’s day for every parent 😀
June 19, 2007 at 8:13 pm
A perfect father would be a heavy burden for a child. You appear to be a wonderful parent.
August 17, 2007 at 10:56 am
[…] RK, for that lovely article on the pleasures of fathering a young kid! It is very rare in these days of hectic work schedules […]
August 17, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Thanks for the touching post.